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Reviews/Movies: Action & Adventure/Snakes On A Plane

David R. Ellis
Action & Adventure
57 reviews
Monday May 28, 2007 - 6:11 PM


Three stars for making me laugh. lol

I wasn't expecting this movie to be suspenseful or anything, but it was entertaining to watch.

Monday May 28, 2007 - 2:43 PM



Sunday February 11, 2007 - 11:53 PM


pretty fuckin dumb

Sunday February 11, 2007 - 11:07 PM


It was so bad it was good !!

Saturday February 10, 2007 - 2:55 PM


Being a flight attendant I can tell you right now you could NEVER put that many animals on one flight. lol


I want to see it though, for the sheer stupidity of it and to point out all the industry mistakes and shit that is false.

Like I did in Red Eye, Flight Plan..I love airplane movies! love

Monday January 29, 2007 - 8:42 PM


It would have been okay if it was intended to be funny -- but it wasn't. The director was trying to be serious with this piece, and when you laugh at it, that's not a good thing from a review standpoint.

For those who haven't seen it, it's as dumb as the title. But still not as bad as

Monday January 29, 2007 - 7:16 PM



Monday January 29, 2007 - 6:23 PM


The greatest B movie on the big screen. All that you expect

Saturday January 13, 2007 - 12:48 PM


Dude this is my favourite movie of all time. But to be fair, if you didn't see it on a sneak peak night or opening night, it probably wasn't that good. Most of what was great about it was people shouting random jokes and applauding Samuel L. I don't think I'll ever watch it again, but it was the most fun I ever had at a movie.

Saturday January 13, 2007 - 12:29 PM


i liked it (H) ... it was funny ... best part was wen hes like uhhhh ive played this video game 100 times ahahah

Saturday January 13, 2007 - 12:21 PM


snakes on a motherfuckin plane!!!

Saturday January 13, 2007 - 3:13 AM


I thought it was going to be horrible by the sounds of it. Turned out to be ok as lots of people got bitten. Was suprised there was actually a plot.

Friday January 12, 2007 - 6:17 PM



Friday January 12, 2007 - 5:02 PM


Voxx and Spiffy said it right wink

Friday January 12, 2007 - 4:22 PM


"enough is enough! ive had it with these muthafuckin snakes on this muthafuckin plane!"

this movie was fuckiinngg awesome ahaha

Thursday December 07, 2006 - 8:42 PM


solid gold entertainment.

Friday November 17, 2006 - 4:00 PM



loved it smile
cheesy goodness smile

Tuesday October 24, 2006 - 8:38 AM


Any of you who are rating this movie badly because it had no plot or character development are seriously missing the point.

For shit's sake, the ONLY reason Sam Jackson took the role was because of the title. He even threatened to back out if they changed the name as they were discussing to.

Tuesday October 24, 2006 - 3:13 AM



loved it.
that's all i can say.

Tuesday October 17, 2006 - 9:13 PM


lol i fucking LOVED the movie
it was really to watch and also pretty gross/funny
im happy i went to see that =P
i loved "snakes on crack" part^^

Tuesday October 17, 2006 - 8:52 PM


I think people only went to see it so they could see Samuel L Jackson say his key phrase. Other than that its fuckin weird. After all the hype about it, no one could take it seriously. and that took away from the whole thing

Monday October 16, 2006 - 8:37 PM


The most idiotic piece of crap! Waste of film! So badly done. It is not even black humour!

Monday October 16, 2006 - 5:35 PM


The movie is called "Snakes on a Plane"... can you seriously tell me you walked into the theatre expecting an intellectual drama with an intricate well thought-out script with oscar worthy performances from the chick who played Cher in the TV show version of Clueless? NO! It's about muthafuckin' snakes on a muthafuckin' plane and that's all you're gonna get for your $13! If you wanted more then you should've stayed home!

That being said, I knew it was gonna be cheesey, and over the top. Any production that went to do re-shoots in order to bump the rating from PG to R is gonna be ridiculous. It had a huge underground following of people who thought just that, they came out to the first screening, brought every toy snake they could find, wrote all sorts of weird audience participation scripts, and had a blast despite its mediocrity (it could've been more over the top I think, wasn't gory nor groan-worthy as I was expecting)

Monday October 16, 2006 - 4:26 PM


So bad its good

Monday October 16, 2006 - 3:20 PM

I didnt even see it.. it gave me dreams about being on a plane with my boyfriend.. with snakes biting my fingers. Also another dream of steve & i at statue park again, catching a snake.. and getting bit.



Monday October 16, 2006 - 3:19 PM



Monday October 16, 2006 - 1:21 PM


Movie was crap. It's so far feteched, not even parts of it are remotely believeable.

Monday October 16, 2006 - 10:55 AM


im a give it a 1 cus i havent seen it n it looked like shit so i wouldnt waste my money on it hahahahahaha

Monday October 16, 2006 - 5:21 AM


best movie ever

Sunday October 15, 2006 - 10:59 PM


It was one of those movies that was so stupid, it was comical, but in this case it did no justice.

Sunday October 15, 2006 - 10:58 PM


Honestly this movie was garbage. Snakes on a plane... They ACTUALLY named it that. The name is garbage and so is the movie. The sequel: Gerbals on a bus.


Sunday October 15, 2006 - 10:46 PM


Snakes on a Plane

Well after a few years I am back and reviewing movies. You know what they say you can't teach an old dog new tricks but what they don't know is that this old dog is in fact god. No movie reviewer even comes close to me because I can do magic tricks with cards. Like one of them is where I tell you to close one eye and then pull out a card from my hand. Then as you pull the card I punch you with the hope of blinding and bruising your other eye. So the cards disappear out of sight like magic. I used to do these tricks at kids parties but now I have restraining order.

But enough about my spendid tricks I am here to do my job and that is deliver a quality review to you the reader. I watched Snakes on a Plane the other day and that is what I will review you ungodly bastard.

Anyway the movie starts with a secret plot where there is a killing in some Asian mafia. A young police officer witnesses this crime and has to testify in court against the mafia. Samuel L Jackson is the older cop and he lays down the law with his fierce demenor yet charming attitude. It almost makes you want to be his damn bitch he is so charming. Just like that sensitve guy in the other movie, THE MAN or something. He also talks in broken up sentences and yells constantly for emphasis. Every single one of his words bear meaning like a ramming force from behind. They get on the plane with a rich cliche of characters.

There are the skanks on a plane(notice the pun I came up with that). There is a skanky stuardess and then there is a skanky rich girl. There is a pissy stuardess. There is a just married couple who are young and wild because they have sex WHILE SMOKING POT IN THE BATHROOM. This adds a whole new level of extreme to the whole movie. It is almost like reversing an anus so it can be a head and there is double the anus. I was glad to see them die a horrible death in the bathroom stall. The part where the little Chi Wawa who the rich girl carried everywhere died was censored or not shown. I was hoping to see a snake swallow the Chi Wawa whole like in one of those nature videos. There was a perverted pilot who spoke with this irritating curve in his mouth which would have designated his parents as a brother and sister. There was a rapper and some black people.

Whatever there were a lot of characters but none of them really matter except for Samuel L Jackson who went around tazering snakes and in the end he flew the goddamn plane because he can do anything. It's Samuel L Jackson he will slap you across the face and you will love it for God's sake.

There was horrible melodrama. There was suspense, I will give that to the movie and there was one joke which did stick in my mind.

Samuel L Jackson: Hey man you are peeing?

Guy: What?

Samuel L Jackson: You are Eu-ro-pean?

Guy: What?

Yeah I made up that dialogue but the joke was in the movie in a bizarre context I can't remember. Anyway to sum all of this up the movie was cool because Samuel L Jackson, his jokes and some snakes. I say if you wanna make a cool movie put Samuel L Jackson in stand up comedy and make the audience poisonous snakes otherwise this movie gets a -89 out of 10 because of excess garbage and skanks. Thank you....I am also writing a script, make sure you catch that. It is a spin off of the movie it is called Gays on the Party Boat(With homophobic black people....). Bye.

Sunday October 15, 2006 - 10:26 PM


To me, just your average run of the mill action movie. Nothing too special about it.

Sunday October 15, 2006 - 9:48 PM


I give this movie a 3.

And the reason for that.


You see the movie alone, I would give it a 1 Star


You see the movie with all your friends, opening night, with a FULL audience, who also is in on the joke, I give this movie a 5.

I will never ever watch this movie again, because it will never live up to the experience I had at the theater. In the theater, it was hilarious, everyone got the jokes, people were hissing out loud during the previews. It was something that could never ever be done again.

I fear watching this movie alone would kill the memories I had of the movie. So forever etched in my brain is the time i saw it opening night.....................


1 star = seeing it alone
5 star = seeing it with all my friends + a pack audience opening night.

Sunday October 15, 2006 - 7:10 PM


m'n f'n snakes on a m'n f'n plane

nuff said. smile

Sunday October 15, 2006 - 2:11 PM


Totally what i expected!
This is the first film that i actually got up and cheered along with other people in the theatre when a token line was delivered!

Either you loved it or hated it. If you went into the theatre knowing the title was "Snakes on a Plane" and you expected to see an award winning original film, you are a retard. It was exactly what it was..."Mutha fuckin snakes, on a mutha fucking plane!"

I will be honest. I spent $10 to hear Samuel L Jackson say this line in a movie, even though it was already all over the internet.

Sunday October 15, 2006 - 9:53 AM


It was worth it with Samuel's Oscar Moment came "I've Fucking Had it!...fucking Snakes!"

Sunday October 15, 2006 - 4:49 AM


this was a shakespeare play, right?

Sunday October 15, 2006 - 1:17 AM


It doesnt matter, it was funny, it made me laugh, most of you take things to seriously.

Sunday October 15, 2006 - 1:16 AM


Seriously now,

anyone who was expecting a movie whose most memorable scenes were shot after the original completion, added because of internet phenomena, to have contained anything more than what the name suggested is a fool.

Snakes on a Plane

let's break it down.

Snakes? check.
Plane? check.

throw in some Sam Jackson, some cussing, gratuitous sex and racial stereotyping and then kablammo, look at that, you have exactly what this movie was meant to do.

if you were expecting anything more, go rent amelie or one of those 'can only rent it at suspect because it's 'independent' and that makes me feel a lot better about the fact that this is the only 'pride' i have' movies.

Sunday October 15, 2006 - 1:10 AM


I fully knew, going into this movie there was going to be some rediculous & outragious nonesence going on so I was prepared.

I feel that it fully met my expectations.

I'm really happy that I saw it!

Get these muthafuckin snakes off the plane!!!! lol

I can see this being a next cult classic!!!

Awesome movie!!!


I give it 5 stars for what it was!

Sunday October 15, 2006 - 1:01 AM


its snakes.........on a plane

Sunday October 15, 2006 - 12:04 AM


oo look theres snakes on a plane! like wtf horrible horrible fuck like no offence i love samual but really bad movie

Saturday October 14, 2006 - 10:54 PM


i walked out of the theater.... =)

Saturday October 14, 2006 - 1:24 PM


This movie is the reason that I am obsessed with great movies from the 70's and 80's. Whoever edited it has ADHD, nothing makes sense, people draw color pictures with pensils, and they randomly surf at the end. All around a bad movie.

Saturday October 14, 2006 - 1:08 PM


ill give it 4 *s because i brought some really good weed to the drive in that night.

Saturday October 14, 2006 - 12:58 PM


this movie sucked balls

Saturday October 14, 2006 - 12:25 PM


Worst movie Jackson has ever done.

Saturday October 14, 2006 - 11:08 AM


it SUUUUUUCKED. It wasn't funny - no amount of drug induced euphoria could make that movie even seem good. Samuel L Jackson wasn't even that good.

If anyone seriously went to go see it just cause of the line buddy says about motherfucking snakes - then you totally wasted your money, even THAT was not enough to save this crap.

It had the formula for a great horror/suspense movie, but it failed miserably.

and is it just me, or how does Sam L. Jackson even find out in the beginning about the dude he puts into witness protection when he hadn't even gone to the cops yet?

I totally only saw this because it was the third movie in a triple feature at the drive in.

Friday October 13, 2006 - 7:44 PM


Snakes on a Plane was simply BAD ASS! There wasn't much of a storyline but we all expected that with the preview so whoever was shocked by that DESERVES to have their testies or nipples removed by a big posioness Anaconda. had some pretty cool/funny scenes, as well as some bad ass lines. Such as Jackson's famous quote. Eitherway, this movie definetly deserves 3 stars for it's entertainment value.

Thursday October 12, 2006 - 9:00 PM


Agent Neville Flynn (Jackson) is charged with protecting a witness in a high profile murder case. The Korean crime boss on trial has an "ingenious" plan to make sure the witness can't testify (One guess at what his plane involves!)

If only I could give negative stars...

If you couldn't guess from the title, the movie is about snakes on a plane. With that knowledge you don't even need to damage your brain by watching this piece of crap. I'm not kidding... The only reasons to watch this movie is if you like crappy movies, you're retarded or willing to watch anything with Samuel L. Jackson in it. I went for reason #3. Although, I think watching this movie left me reason #2.
What some might call the plot was a poor excuse to show CG snakes bite people and get Samuel L. Jackson to get angry and swear (which is always amusing). You can only come up with so many ways ot try and shock/scare people with snakes attacking. This movie exploited them all. Unlike a maniacal killer in most horror/thrillers, snakes don't have a ton of inventive or crazy ways to kill you. After the first 5 snake attacks it gets repetitive and old. You really don't bond with any of the characters, so you don't care who makes it (except for Sam, of course). As for the witness (who cares what the actors name was). Due to his HORRID acting and lack of emotional range you actually start to hope that he dies. He has the same perpetual look of "duh" on face the whole damn film. Your bonus for sitting thru this piece of shit... A really crappy music video by a crappy no name band. But it does have a cameo of Sam!

I say, hit yourself with a sledge hammer in the head rather than watch Snakes on a Plane. The concussion and ambulance ride will be much more entertaining.

Friday October 06, 2006 - 11:07 AM


bit off your nipple or dick?? terrible, just terrible....
i had a pit bull puppy bite me on the dick (through pants)
it hurt, but he was only a puppy so i'm ok

Monday October 02, 2006 - 4:18 PM


i almost peed myself laughing. the entire audience clapped and cheered when he said 'i'm sick and tired of these motherfuckin snakes on this motherfuckin plane'


the most amazing part is the ridiculous budget they had for what would have been an even better cheap B movie.

Friday September 29, 2006 - 12:40 PM


I thought this movie did it’s job… entertain us, make us squeal, laugh and shake our heads… it was a gore-on-gore movie, without much of a plot, aside from snakes… but what did you expect??? It’s called Snakes on a Plane! Anyone who goes into this movie expecting drama, storyline and a love affair… turn around and leave. If you want some non-stop action, laughs and over the top insanity… you’re in the right place! With the tag line as “I’ve had it with these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking plane” how could you not enjoy? It’s about fun!

Wednesday September 27, 2006 - 8:00 PM


I thought they did a REALLY good job with this move.
Sure it was exactly what it says it is, but it was put together really well!!

Wednesday September 27, 2006 - 5:07 PM


this is actually from my journal....

Where did he get the Harpoon..?!

For weeks now i have wondered how Samuel L Jackson got a harpoon in the movie Snakes on a Plane..

1. I mean first of the hell was it so easy for him to get down into the cargo hold??? dont they have locks on that shit???

2. Secondly..Harpoons are dangerous cargo... therefore, the smart thing to do, and the thing that they do here in the real world, not the world of tv, is that they would go on the cargo planes.... not passenger planes...

3. Thirdly... oh yeah, thats right i said it...THIRDLY..... with the size of the package that the snakes came in that would have most definately went into a cargo plane as well not a passenger one..

and finally.. what would happen if a snake bit off yur nipple or dick???

Feel free to Let me know what you think...

Sorry for all those who havent seen it....