i like peas.... lol....ummmmm... i work on helicopters for a living and i live near
hamilton... anything else just ask me... cause i’m cold... and i don’t wanna type
anymore...lol
Alrighty...now that it’s another day and i’m tired i think i’ll add more about me....
let’s see...football is the best sport... i love music...anything... but mostly rock...and
rap...
=__= anyway anything else just ask...bla bla bla...you kno the drill
some funny ass qutes:
"Carpe diem... Seize the Carp!" - Pigpen from Out Cold
"sometimes it’s nice to not hear this from someone close to you... so UR FAT!" -
Dude from lake placid
"Ya wanna lose weight?!?... here’s a tip... PUT DOWN THE FORK!!!!" - Brian from
family guy
"what good is the dough if you can't blow it, what good is the goal if you stay below
it" -Moka Only
Phrases that make my blood boil
Ever hear someone quote some hackneyed proverb or some stupid expression they read on a
greeting card somewhere, which causes you to think: "man, what a stupid bitch, I
would love nothing more than to bludgeon her head against the wall"? Sure, we all
have. These are a collection of some of the phrases that piss me off most.
May or may not be:
Ever hear someone say "that may or may not be the case," as if there's some
hidden third possibility that we weren't aware of? Thanks for pointing out the only two
possibilities in the universe shit-cock. These are the worst kind of people to talk to
because they try so hard to be open-minded that it sounds like the debate in a political
science class where no opinion is too stupid for the professor to consider and the same
fat kid keeps raising his hand to tell you his dumb ideas about free market capitalism as
you fantasize about repeatedly stomping his face into a jar. I hate talking to open-minded
people. They're the same kind of people who emphasize every other word when they type as
if you can somehow hear their obnoxious cadence in your head, for example: "we didn't
go to the store, but we DID buy a cake." Cool it Shatner, we don't read in the same
voice you speak.
Well that's just your opinion:
This one pisses me off just thinking about it. If you slit my throat right now you'd get
shot in the eye with boiling blood. Any time you say something sucks around someone who
disagrees, they try to validate their taste in shitty music/movies/clothing by reminding
you that you still only speak for yourself, as if their opinions are in jeopardy of being
monopolized by your own. Everyone already knows it's my opinion by virtue of the fact that
I said it, no need to restate the obvious you dopey twat.
It takes one to know one:
Ever call someone a whore only to be countered with the bullet-proof come back: "well
it takes one to know one"? You're basically saying "yes, I spread my legs for
money, as do you." Good job Ms. Rotten-crotch, you've rebuked nothing. What
difference does it make if the person calling you a slut is one as well? You're still a
skanky bitch who charges money for hand jobs--and why the hell are you charging for a hand
job anyway? Unless all your clients are paralyzed, any prostitute caught charging someone
for a hand job should be sued for extortion. That's another reason prostitution should be
legal: you can't really sue a prostitute for extortion if prostitution is illegal now can
you wise ass?
I'm a child at heart:
Yeah, you're a child at heart, just as soon as children start going to work every day to
rot in a cubicle for a meager pay check so they can drink their troubles away in a shitty
bar for the rest of their lives. Unless you're an astronaut, secret agent, vampire hunter,
or all three, you're probably a sellout; screw you. Nobody wanted to be a regional
director of sales or an investment banker when they were kids. On top of that, nobody
thinks you're cute or funny by stating you're a "child at heart" on your stupid
online profile that you created because you're a boring middle-aged loser with sagging
tits and yellow nails who survives off greasy TV dinners every night as you contemplate
the exact moment your life became such a miserable shit hole. But hey, don't take my word
for it. After all, passing by "Cartoon Network" as you're flipping through
channels technically makes you a "child at heart." Either that or the world's
oldest virgin.
Sorry, but (also known as "No offense, but"
:
Girls usually say this when they think they're being clever: "sorry, but you're a
moron." It's a phrase derived from the expression people use when they're breaking
some bad news to an old friend: "I'm sorry to say this, but the results are back
and... you're an idiot." The only problem is, they never intend to say it with such
eloquence, but rather, they use the phrase like it's a blunt object, hammering their
square insult through your round psyche. If you think someone's an idiot, just come out
and say it without these pussy apologies you dumb hag. Unless you're a character in a
fighting game, have big boobs, and just won the round with a bitch slap, saying
"sorry" just before you insult someone is obnoxious, cut the bullshit.
Strangers are just friends waiting to happen:
Yeah, either that or rape in a dark alley waiting to happen.
Hmmmmm / Uhhhhh:
Next time you ask someone a question, look for the trademark sign of an idiot: the
"hmmmmm" noise they make while they're thinking. It's especially noticeable when
you go to a restaurant and the waitress asks what you want to drink; there's always some
fickle fingered asshole thumbing through the menu, sounding off like a moron with
"uhhhhhh...." as if the waitress is just going to walk away without taking your
order if you don't give her an audible cue that you are still breathing. These are the
same type of people who repeat the question you ask them to buy time when they don't know
the answer, hoping you won't notice that they're stalling. You don't need to make a sound
while your five good neurons crank out the next malformed sentence from your cretaceous
skull, numb nuts.
Some of the best things in life are free:
Yeah? Well so are some of the worst, and I don't see anyone throwing a party when they get
cancer.
The grass is always greener on the other side:
If the grass is greener on the other side, then the guy with the greener grass doesn't
think your grass is greener now does he, asshole? The message that this proverb is trying
to stumble through is that everything always looks more attractive when you don't have it.
I'm sure there are millionaires crying themselves to sleep every night because they don't
live in a trailer park. Just face it: sometimes nobody envies you. There has to be a
bottom and that bottom is probably you.
or if you got a real good sense of humor check this shiat!
http://maddox.xmission.com/c.cgi?u=irule
- 
