| Bio: |
"Render therefore unto Caesar the things which are Caesar's; and unto God the things
that are God's"
-Jesus Christ
"Give a man a key, he cannot not open a door"
-Fat Mike
"Hip hop culture is the disco of the new millenium. In 15 years, you morons will be
so fucking embarassed at how you used to dress and act. I mock you."
-Me
"On the Sunday morning sidewalk,
Wishing, Lord, that I was stoned.
'Cos there's something in a Sunday,
That makes a body feel alone."
-Kris Kristofferson (I know, I know, a COUNTRY music quote??)
"We train young men to drop fire on people. But their commanders won't allow them to
write 'fuck' on their airplanes because it's obscene!"
-Marlon Brando
"At bottom, you see, we are not homo sapiens at all. Our core is madness. The prime
directive is murder. What Darwin was too polite to say, my friends, is that we came to
rule the earth not because we were smartest, or even the meanest, but because we have
always been the craziest, most murderous motherfuckers in the jungle."
-Stephen King
What am I supposed to write in here? I’m boring! If’n ya wanna know sumfin, ask. I’ll
prolly tell you. Unless it’s a secret, then I won’t. No, don’t look at me like that.
Oh, ok, I’ll tell you anyway. I can’t say no to that face!
Because of my user name, you might assume I am short. But you would be wrong. Dumbass.
That’s why I carry the map. Now give me your cookies.
I like getting messages & stuff. So fawkin message me! I dont care, tell me what you had
for lunch, favorite color, whatever. I can guarantee that I'm bored enough to wanna read
it, and I WILL write back, even if you specifically ask me not to.
I don’t have a journal because I’m too cheap to pay to bring my thoughts to the masses.
I’ll just keep doing it my own way, writing everything down on McDonald's napkins then
leaving them on the bus. (update: I realize that I do have a journal now, but I still
think this is funny, so it stays.)
Is it wrong to laugh when someone hurts themself? No!!! It's not! HA!!!! Stupid!!!!
I could probably make this all pretty and in different colors. But...uhm, yah. Whatever.
I'm not here to impress you. Plus I'm colorblind, so the fabulousness of your own profile
is lost on me. All that work for NOTHIN! The lesson here? Never do anything.
Hey, I think I’ll steal an idea from everyone else’s profile! Contain your excitement,
it’s time for.....a list of things that I like!!!!! Oh man, this is gonna be ass-tacular!
I like (in no particular order):
-Marley (there's a reason she's at the top, and it ain't alphabetical)
-kraft dinner
-chocolatey chip teddy grahams (MMMMMM)
-my hat
-wrestling (SHUT UP!!!)
-MMA
-Fast food
-slow food
-food
-NICKY!!!!!
-NHL
-Michael Moore
-Gen. Wesley Clark
-MTV’s Fear
-NOFX
-The Godfather 1 & 2
-Edward Norton
-sleep
-Oz
-not working
-drinking (like once a year)
-making people laugh
-hot chocolate
-pizza
-Boondock Saints
-Canada
-Kitties
-My dog (kinda)
-Saw (Everything about this movie > you)
-bright lights
-Bad Religion
-pot
-CKY/Jackass/Steve-O/Viva La Bam/Wildboyz
-Electric toothbrushes
-Reservoir Dogs
-Bar-b-q ribs
-being alone
-Tool
-happy people
-my friends
-Snatch. (The movie, not the.....well....ok, yeah, that too)
-Family Guy
-Homestar Runner
-imdb.com
-French Fries (I mean, FREEDOM FRIES!! *gag*)
-CNN
-BETH! (Are we happy??)
-Tommy Lee Jones
-Comfy sneakers
-Quentin Tarantino
-3-ply TP
-biting my nails
-DVD Box sets
-Stanley Kubrick
-Thunderstorms
-hats
-Pepsi
-those little tubes that M&M minis come in
-fancy twirly straws
-Kevin Smith
-George Romero’s ’Dead’ trilogy (originals AND remakes)
-Reno 911
-Clerks
-Johnny Fucking Cash (That's MISTER Cash to you. RIP)
-Mattie Stepanek (Words can't express my awe, admiration and respect for the poet who
figured out more in his short 13 years than any of us will in our whole lives. RIP)
-You
To be continued as I think of more things.......
Things I don’t like:
-Mainstream music
-Teenybopper MTV punks
("Good Charlotte is SOOO cool!" Fuck off!)
-Big-budget movies with no substance
-MUSICIANS WHO DON’T WRITE THEIR OWN MUSIC, OR PLAY THEIR OWN INSTRUMENTS!!!! Oh boy, you
can do some slick dance moves after paying some idiot way too much money to come up with
the moves, show you how, then practicing them hundreds of times! THAT IS NOT TALENT!!!!
Talent would be doing it yourself, and getting it right the first time you try.
-Sorry folks, I hate techno too. If you feel like defending it, drop me a line, I don’t
want to go into a big long rant here about why it licks the ass of a thousand camels. But
believe you me, if you wanna know, I’ll tell you.
-People who don’t take others wants, needs, and feelings into consideration.....asshole
-Celebrities who use their voice for self-serving reasons, or don’t use it at all.
-Blind faith in ANYTHING....religion....country....relationships
-The Conservative Religious Right....just stay the fuck away from me
-People who are obsessed with being in a relationship...like, their lives are incomplete
unless they're part of a couple, and it's the end of the world is the person they like
isn't equally obsessed with them. Fucking stupid. Get confident, stupid!
OOOH! In keeping up with the profile cliches (I don’t know how to do that little
accenty-thingy over the e. Frig off) on here, I’ll now include a song:
Every day a battle is fought
Today I was reminded, somehow I had forgot
Every day a lesson is taught
Real estate’s important and human life is not!
Is all of this bloodshed worth
An outdated plan laid by ancient hands?
Such a crucial piece of earth
Take a look again, it’s a fucking piece of dirt!
Can anyone show me what’s wrong with this picture?
Something definitely looks out of place to me
It’s clearly out of focus
Somebody broke us
But here’s where the joke is
Nobody provoked us
We’re broken and no one’s to blame but us, ourselves and we.
We can’t agree, so we war
Egos declare young soldier, be scared
But what are we fighting for?
Something that’s nothing that we can afford
We glory ourselves in our past
The rockets red glare, the bombs bursting in air
We fly our flags at half-mast
It’s hard to take pride in young wasted lives!
Can anyone out there help fix this picture?
Who can make the world a better place to be?
We’ve got one chance, let’s take it
The world’s what we make
If we’re gonna change it
We can’t be complacent
The future of the world’s up to us, ourselves and we.
------------------------
And now, some Ricky-isms:
"I am not the kind of person to say atoadaso, but you know what atoadaso.......I
fuckin atoadaso!"
"I don't fuckin know where it is. It was grade 6. I was drunk!"
"I have to steal gas 'cause I'm broke and gas is a fortune with the fuckin government
taxes....it pisses me off 'cause in provinces like Texas and Calgary its not so
bad."
"What the fuck is this shit? 'How to get stains out of kahaykee pants'?"
"You can't tell me to stop growing dope. It's like telling NWA to stop being
black!"
"Why are two nerds carrying one tree?! One tree per nerd! God-damn, fuckin
nerds!"
"Don't you boys have some offs to fuck?"
"I try to be a role model for kids around the park. If some kid wants to grow dope,
they can come talk to me, instead of growing dope 6 or 7 times through denial and error,
they're going to get it right the first time and have some good dope. "
*speaking thru department store's public address system*
"Mr. Lahey and Randy to the Fuck-off department. Mr. Lahey and Randy to the Fuck-off
department and hurry the fuck up!"
Are you still reading this? Jesus, you need a hobby. But thanks tho, I appreciate the
attention!
(\ /)
(o_o)
( uu )
From what I hear, helping this bunny conquer the world by placing him in my profile will
guarantee me a spot at the head table once he's running the show. I'm down with that.
Rule on, bunny. Who loves ya?
"How long? Not long. 'Cause what you reap is what you sow."
"The Vikings, their brutality aside, had their moments of brilliance. At one point,
they were such great shipbuilders, that Leif Ericson and his crew sailed all the way to
America. Some people say that he probably went as down south as the New York harbor.
Here's where the brilliance comes in- they took a look and went back. "
"How long you pray makes no difference today
When your society devices how you'll pay"
With our head
In the ground
No bad sight
No bad sound
Two armies
Fight for land
We are North American
We will shoot
All our friends
We are North American
_____________________________________
Ok, if you read all that, thanks, and if not, well....frig off. I put a lot of work into
that. Ass. |
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