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Subject: POPSICLE



The only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon quickie with their

8-year-old son in the apartment was to send him out on the balcony

with a Popsicle and tell him to report on all the neighborhood
activities.



He began his commentary as his parents put their plan into operation:



"There's a car being towed from the parking lot," he shouted.



A few moments passed. "An ambulance just drove by."



A few moments later, "Looks like the Anderson's have company," he
called out.



"Matt's riding a new bike."



A few moments later, "Looks like the Sanders are moving."



"Jason is on his skateboard...."



A few more moments, "The Coopers are having sex!"



Startled, Mother and Dad shot up in bed.



Dad cautiously asked, "How do you know they are having sex?"



"Jimmy Cooper is standing on his balcony with a Popsicle too."

Women and Apples
Women are like apples on trees.
The best ones are at the top of the tree.
Most men don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling
and getting hurt.
Instead, they sometimes take the apples from the ground that aren't as good, but easy.
The apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality, they're
amazing.
They just have to wait for the right man to come along, the one who is brave enough to
climb all the way to the top of the tree.

Now Men....
Men are like a fine wine.
They begin as grapes, and it's up to women to stomp the shit out of them until they turn
into something acceptable to have dinner with.

you dropped the apple you climbed all the way to the top to get
for an apple you found on the ground!! (you know who you are)

[x] I miss somebody right now.
[x] I don’t watch much TV these days.
[_] I love olives
[x] I love sleeping.
[x] I own lots of books
[x] I wear glasses
[_] I love to play basketball
[x] I like porn movies.
[x] I have been in a threesome, but not sex.
[_] I have had a psycho-ex in a past relationship.
[x] I believe honesty is usually the best policy.
[_] I like and respect Al Sharpton.(i dont know who this is)
[x] I curse frequently.
[x] I have changed a lot mentally over the last year.
[x] I have a hobby.
[_] I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me
[x] in my own way I’m really, really smart.
[x] I’ve broken someone’s bones.
[_] I have a secret that I am ashamed to reveal.
[x] I hate the rain.(and crappy weather in general)
[_] I would get plastic surgery if it were 100%safe, free of cost, and
scar-free.
[_] I love Sushi.
[x] Sometimes I talk really, really fast.
[_] I have long hair.(hopefully will soon though
[x] I have at least one brother and/or one sister.(even though i don't know
him)
[x] I was born in a country outside of the U.S.
[x] I shave my legs (females) or face (males) on a regular basis
[_] I have a twin.
[x] I have worn fake hair/fingernails/EYELASHES in the past
[_] I couldn’t survive without Caller I.D.
[x] I like the way that I look sometimes.
[x] I have lied to a good friend in the last 6 months.
[x] know how to cornrow.
[_] I am usually pessimistic.
[x] I have a lot of mood swings.
[_] I think prostitution should be legalized
[x] I think Britney Spears is fake.
[_] I have a hidden talent
[x] I’m always hyper no matter how much sugar I have.
[x] I think that I’m popular.(among my small group of friends)
[x] I have kissed someone of the same sex.
[_] I enjoy talking on the phone.
[x] I practically live in sweatpants or PJ pants.(under my clothes)
[_] I love to shop.
[_] I would rather shop than eat!
[x] I would classify myself as ghetto
[_] I’m bourgie and have worn a sweater tied around my shoulders
[_]I’m obsessed with my Xanga or Livejournal.
[_] I don’t hate anyone.(though i only hate a couple)
[_] I’m a pretty good dancer.
[_] I’m completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother
[_] I watch MTV on a daily basis.
[_] I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months
[x] I have never been in a real relationship before.(but eric's gona change, that right
baby?)
[x] I’ve rejected someone before.
[x] I currently have a crush on someone.(if the person i'm with now counts)
[_] I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.
[x] I have changed a diaper before.
[_] I’ve called the cops on a friend before
[x] I bite my nails.(though not as much lately)
[_] I am a member of the Tom Green fan club
[_] I’m not allergic to anything
[x] I have a lot to learn.
[x] I have dated someone at least 10 years older or younger.(until I found out his age)
[_] I plan on seeing Ice Cube’s "xXx 2" movie.
[x] I am very shy around the opposite sex.(HAHAHA )
[_] I’m online 24/7, even as an away message.
[_] I have at least 5 away messages saved.
[x] I have tried alcohol or drugs before.
[_] I own the "South Park" movie.
[_] I have avoided assignments at work to be on Xanga or Livejournal
[x] When I was a kid I played "the birds and the bees" with a neighbor or chum
[x] One of those neighbors was the same sex.
[x] I would die for my best friend
[x] I’m obsessive, anal retentive, and often a perfectionist.(well could be when
sketchy)
[_] I love Michael Jackson, scandals and all.(I only love the jokes i can make)
[_] I know all the words to Slick Rick’s "Children’s Story"
[x] Halloween is awesome because you get free candy.
[_] I watch Spongebob Squarepants and I like it.
[x] I have dated a close friend’s ex
[_] I have cut my self before.
[x] I am happy at this moment.(other than the fact I miss my baby to pieces)
[_] I have killed at least one hobo.
[_] I am doing this wearing no socks.(sorry i'm in public)

(x) BEEN DRUNK
(x) SMOKED POT
(x) KISSED A MEMBER OF THE OPPOSITE SEX
(x) KISSED A MEMBER OF THE SAME SEX
(_) CRASHED A FRIEND'S CAR
(_) BEEN TO JAPAN
(x) RODE IN A TAXI
(_) HAD ANAL SEX
(x) BEEN IN LOVE
(x) HAD SEX IN PUBLIC
(x) BEEN DUMPED
(x) SHOPLIFTED
(_) BEEN FIRED
(x) BEEN IN A FIST FIGHT
(x) HAD A THREESOME
(x) SNEAKED OUT OF MY PARENT'S HOUSE
(x) BEEN TIED UP (SEXUALLY)
(_) BEEN CAUGHT MASTURBATING
(x) PISSED ON MYSELF
(x) HAD SEX WITH A MEMBER OF THE SAME SEX
(x) BEEN ARRESTED
(_) MADE OUT WITH A STRANGER
(x) STOLE SOMETHING FROM MY JOB
(x) CELEBRATED NEW YEARS IN TIME SQUARE
(_) GONE ON A BLIND DATE
(x) HAD A CRUSH ON A TEACHER
(_) CELEBRATED MARDI-GRAS IN NEW ORLEANS
(_) BEEN TO EUROPE
(x) SKIPPED SCHOOL
(_) SLEPT WITH A CO-WORKER
(_) CUT MYSELF ON PURPOSE
(_) HAD SEX AT THE OFFICE
(_) BEEN MARRIED
(_) BEEN DIVORCED
(x) HAD SEX WITH MORE THAN ONE PERSON WITHIN THE SAME WEEK
(x) POSED NUDE
(_) GOT SOMEONE DRUNK JUST TO HAVE SEX WITH THEM
(x) CHEATED ON MY SIGNIFICANT OTHER(not proud of this)
(_) HAD SEX WITH MY BOSS
(_) DATED MY ROOMMATE
(_) BEEN FISTED AND/OR HAVE NEVER FISTED ANYONE
(_) THROWN UP IN A BAR
(_) SLEPT WITH AN EX

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$$$$_____$____$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
$$$$_____$___$$_____________$$$$$
$$$$_____$__$$_______________$$$$
$$$$______$$$_________________$$$
$$$$__________$$_______________$$
$$$$____________$$_____________$$
$$$$_____________$$___________$$$
$$$$______________$___________$$$
$$$$_______________$__________$$$
$$$$_______________$_________$$$$
$$$$$_______________________$$$$$
$$$$$$_____________________$$$$$$
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took me for fucking ever to figure out this plur simbol....my baby
tried too....finally...2 1/2 hours later...voila! i can do
anything!!!!

_ /\ ._, ,.·**·.,.·**·.._ /\ _
*·..·*’.·**~ ERIC ~**’*·..·*
/.·*·.\*.·**·.,,.·**·.*/.·*·.\

This is something my baby wrote for me....

Big it up to the new Plurtard,

My Kandi Baby Krystle,

She's the Best,

Betta den da rest,

Oh so gorgeous,

She's not shortness,

Like usual.

She's so pretty,

And she be with me,

I'm so lucky,

She be from the L-town city,

She be a Kandi Kid

and I be her Kandi Junglist

Da name be Dumpsta Kiti

I be da dumbsta MC

But as you can see,

By the braclettes

I'm Kandi

that's my jungle kandi baby...thank
you

i had a nose ring but it fell out last night and i can't find
it...i move around too much in my
sleepum...lets see i'm 5'9...
145ish....black hair...lightish brown
eyes...labret tongue and nipple piercing...i duno i smoke pot
and do e, occationally, i Study The art of the jib-Tech ...message me or add
me to msn if you wanna chat...lol always online


[b][center]to be old and wise you must first be young and
stupid

found my nose ring