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I put the "irate" back in "Pirate", motherfucker.

Is it odd that I think i probably hate most of the people on this site? I look at these
fucking goddawful online journals and all I see is the same fucking crap over and over.
"I’m sick", "I bought a new phone", "I wonder if Jimmy-Blue-Eyes
joe shmoe likes me"... I can’t believe this. People actually CARE about this swill?
Fuck, man, journals are supposed to be private places where one can record their thoughts
and musings, not some online wasteland where you can talk about how much you like the new
Good Charlotte cd or how you think that your parents ARE SO UNFAIR FOR MAKING YOU TALK TO
GRANDMA! Heads up, kiddies: you live a pathetic, shallow, mundane life and no one cares.
And if you DO care, somehow... well... you’re living a life that’s likely just as
materialistic and hollow as the author of these so-called "journals".

I also hate people that succumb to the overwhelming urge to type with the following
tendencies:

a) Ebonics. This isn’t racist, so don’t even fucking pull that shit. Ebonics is a
ridiculous sodomization of the English language.

b) Alternating capital letters. Unless it’s still 1995 or you’re a 12 year old girl, it’s
not cool. Fuck off. (s0x is exempted from this, just because she’s so fucking cool.)

c) Substituting letters with numbers or other symbols. So, good for you, "Pu|\|k
R4\/\/|< pR1nC3sS 182", but A Simple Plan still fucking sucks.

I wish there was a way to tell all of you that your poetry is horrible and your journals
are uninteresting, but i’m not about to pay $20 for a little link on the side of the main
page to do so. I love it how all these people think they’re such fucking individuals while
all spewing the same moronic garbage. It must be fun living in your own little world,
thinking that you’re completely different, and you, and you ALONE, have these complex
problems and issues, opinions and beliefs, and no one could possibly understand you. It
brings to mind a quote I heard from someone that’s almost as cynical and jaded as I am:
"I’m totally different and unique... just like everyone else."

Congratulations, kids: YOU’RE MEDIOCRE.

Punk’s not dead. We just smell that way.

I’m not a raver, but I have nothing but the utmost respect for them. It takes a special
person with an extraordinary amount of willpower to listen to music that horrible on their
own accord.

My biggest fear is making soup and then realizing afterwards I have no crackers.

A lot of people hate me. If YOU hate me too, feel free to make a picture of you with a
sign insulting me, and if it doesn’t suck as much as you do, I’ll put it in my Tyler Sucks
gallery! It’s a very prestegious award.

Here’s a series of things that piss me off about this website.

- Attention whores. These girls who KNOW they are hot, but post pics in random poses and
say "i’m so ugly" or something to that extent. Way to fish for compliments,
Scatface (thanks to PunkChick for that word).
- Tiny animated .gifs. They’re usually emo-ish with some lame lyric line from some band,
or about how that person is "unique" or "misunderstood". See above
rant for further explanation upon those two words.
- Sixteen year old girls who are half-naked in their pictures. You have plenty of time to
be a whore when you’re older, sweetie. Put your training bra back on and show some fucking
self-respect. That pretty much borders on child pornography.
- Any male over the age of 18 that supports and encourages above issue. You lecherous
cretin. You’re the type of male that will hit on the 18 year old waitresses at the bar
you’ll frequent when you’re fifty.
- That powerfully uncool little "story" about the asshole and his girlfriend on
the motorcycle. You know, the one where he tricks her into putting on his helmet and he
dies, and right after that, all the moronic PureRave users put the story in their
profile.

I find it funny that despite my utter loathing for the people on this site, I’ve found
myself addicted to it. I’ve met quite a few friends off of it, but the majority of users
are still worthless shitheads. Funny how things work out, eh?

An interesting thought... I have yet to find someone from Kansas on this site that isn't a
complete and utter fucking moron. ...Well, actually, that's not true. A lot of them are
just sluts, too.

Wow, I have pet peeves? You betcha, buster!
- When people type "u" instead of "you". I HATE that.
- People who say "lates" instead of "later". You deserve to die.
- Cutters. Don’t give me that whiny bullshit about how I’ll never understand you. I
understand. I understand perfectly well. I understand that you’re a self-absorbed little
brat who needs to grow the fuck up and take up a hobby to help you get over your
boyfriend. Start painting. Or smoking crack.
- The fact that some asshole thought "White Chicks" was a good idea, and then an
even bigger asshole gave that first asshole money to make it happen. And after that, a
bunch of assholes payed money to SEE it. Fuckin’ assholes.
- People who like the band HIM. HIM really fucking sucks. Just cuz Bam Margera loves them,
doesn’t mean you need to as well. Stop sucking Bam’s dick.
- When a band that used to kick ass starts to really fucking suck (see Catch 22,
Goldfinger, Guttermouth or Gob).
- The winter. I fucking hate the cold. And you. I hate you too.
- Young teenage girls. It’s just a bunch of stupid fucking twats getting drunk in the club
bathrooms and making out with each other. Just cuz you kissed your best friend, girly,
doesn’t make you bissexual. Lemme know when you go digging for clams.
- Anyone who openly admits to liking Insane Clown Posse. Extra hate points if you call
yourself a juggalo (or juggalette). Chances are you’re a doughy, disgusting cretin who
cant’ haul your ass out of your trailer park if the fucking thing was on fire and your
sister was calling out for you to fuck her. I’m NOT down with the clown, you shithead.

On a final note, I’m sorry if I have offended anyone out there in Internetland. If you
have any comments, questions, criticisms, or insults, feel free to log off the internet
forever. Or, you can send them to me. I’m a friendly guy when you talk to me, really (as
long as you don’t fall into the above categories).