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" I want to stand as close to the edge as I can without going over. Out on the edge
you see all the kinds of things you can't see from the center. "
- Kurt Vonnegut


"Time is the roll of toilet paper we use to wipe away our tears."
-Semi-insightful words written by a very intoxicated me.


*The Idiot's Guide To Playing Nice With Miss Harlot O'Hara Version 2.0*


I wasn't born with unyielding compassion.
Don't expect my sympathy.
I'm not a vegetarian,
and I'm not a martyr for peace.

- Actually, that's a lie. I'm now vegetarian. Not because I have a problem eating Bessie
or Wilbur the Prize Pig, but because I have a problem with them displacing their fat on my
hips.
-.I pretty much think life is the coolest thing I've ever experienced and I love it very
much. .
- True Since I Was 5 - "I ain't a'scared uh'nuthin!"
- I know what I'm doing. Don't make the mistake of thinking I don't. You will
underestimate me. Most people do, and I use this to my advantage. Your words and actions
are far more predictable than you would ever want to believe.
- I'm done looking for love. I've found it once, and while I couldn't keep it here with
me, I know some should be so lucky to find it at all. "Fate is an elegant
cold-hearted whore." and I want nothing to do with love for a long time.
- I'm dangerous, because I've survived more than you could ever throw at me. I know my
limits. YOU are not one of them.
- I'm in college because there are things I want to learn before I die. Politics, French,
Photography, Poetry, Philosophy. I don't need money to be rich, and I'm not going to
college to get rich either. I don't care if I never graduate, that's not why I'm going.
- I am a photographer before I'm a model. Always.
- My style does not nessecarily reflect my personality. "I have piercings" does
not mean "I listen to metal, " or "I'm hardcore." My wearing a mini
skirt does not mean "touch me."
- Allow me to further reiterate this point. I will dress sexy. And I will play sexy. I
will tease you till you're blue. I will do whatever I feel like to allow myself to feel
sexy. The fact that I don't fuck everything with 3 legs means that I choose to express my
sexuality in other ways. Don't take this as me being easy. I'm not like other girls. I
don't work like other girls. The quicker you learn this the safer you are.
- I'm not afraid of failure. I'm not afraid to loose. Take your best shot.
- I don't like laying under the stars. I like laughing under them. I like getting lost,
and loosing myself in something outside of myself. I like falling asleep on the phone at
night, and text message conversations during the day. I love cartoons and books that mock
society. I love coffeehouses and cities and bookstores and jazz music. I love
thunderstorms. I get a secret pleasure out of doing crazy things like jumping from high
places or TPing houses. I can still maintain a professional demeanor,as my office job
requires I work with mature, career minded adults, but I'll still blow bubbles or play
with magic 8 balls when the boss isn't looking. I like stripclubs and Maxim and old
photographs and haunted houses (real ones) and water sports and riding in golf carts and
biting lips and pulling hair.
- I don't really fit any catagory of hxc or sxe or scene or country or city. I like what I
like, mainstream or not. I'm a good girl, but you won't believe me when I say it. And I'm
a bad person, but you won't expect it at first. You'll figure it out eventually.
- I like sucking the mild sauce out of the packets at Taco Bell. I like Mayo better than
Miracle Whip. I like eating country gravy out of a bowl like soup. And I love chinese food
more than I will ever love you.
- I mostly get paid to do sudoku, blog, and talk to people on A.I.M.
- I don't like to argue about politics because I don't follow politics because I don't
find old guys and their outdated opinions interesting or relevant. I do like to argue
about philisophical and religious matters because I don't know anybody who's an expert on
these, but everybody acts like they are and it's fun to watch people present their
opinions as facts and get worked up over circumstancial evidence.
- This little bio makes me sound like a blunt, narsacistic bitch, and I can be exactly
that, but I promise I'm pretty cool if you don't give me a reason to act otherwise.
- After reading this you'll probably think you know less about me than you did before
reading this. Like I said, I know what I'm doing. I'm just here to clarify what you think
you know.
- I will NOT bullshit you. If it's something I feel the need to lie about, it's something
I probably shouldn't do anyway. I'm not afraid of accepting my concequences. I make bad
decisions on purpose and I'm wiser for it.
- Don't let's play pretend. Don't let's play the victim. Seems like everybody loves to
boast and argue about who's suffered the most. Pain is not a competition. Not real pain
anyway.
- I'm a bad driver. I killed Bambi. I've totalled 3 cars and I pay more for my insurance
than you ever will. I will probably die in a car. I've accepted this. It doesn't bother
me. If it bothers you, you may not want to ride in my car.
- I am luckiest person I know, but I truly believe I've earned everything I've got.
- I'm not bi-polar, my life is.
- I'm terribly manipulative, and I take advantage of situations (never people). Survival
of the fittest. Give me a mile and I'll stretch it across the world.
- I cannot stress this point enough. The harder you try to fuck me, the less likely it is
that you ever will. You will be head over heals for me before my panties end up on your
floor. And you can't fool me, but I'll let you think you have, and you'll go home so hard
it will hurt. I'm not one to attempt to alter people's ignorance, but I'm not above
teasing. Like I said, you are very predictable, and you will underestimate my abilities.
Don't say you weren't warned.
- Please don't name-drop. I don't care who you know. I don't care what band your in.
- I play games with people's hearts. Sometimes I have one over and totally whoop it's ass
in chess. Sometimes I let it win. And sometimes I let it think I'm going to let it win,
then totally whoop it's ass.
- I like drama. Given, I don't cause it where it's unnessecary, but I'm not one who won't
jump at the opportunity to pull up a box of popcorn and watch people's worlds unravel when
they deserve it. You like drama too. Stop bitching about how you "hate drama"
"ooh it's so highschool" "oooh I'm to mature to deal with this highschool
drama. Wah wah wah." Bullshit. I call BULLLSHITTT. Bullshit right there. You like it.
You know you do. It relieves tension. And it's fucking entertaining. That's why we have
TV. And that's why we have politics.
- I tend to follow through on irrational impulses. I'm like Curious George on acid. I've
jumped off my roof just to see if it was high enough to hurt if I jumped off my roof. (It
hurt.) This year I'm going to try and not do that so much.



♥ Harlot O'Hara


"Someday, I'm going to get around to changing the world."