If ducks needed bios, then fish would ride bicycles.
Rather than bore you with ASCII art, blind you with technicolor fonts, or inundate you
with pointless surveys and chain letters, I'll give you a little bit of insight into the
Duck, if you care to read between the lines...
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"Kinky sex involves the use of duck feathers. Perverted sex involves the whole
duck." - Lewis Grizzard
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"By all means marry: If you get a good wife, you'll become happy;
if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher." - Socrates
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"Girls marry for love. Boys marry because of a chronic irritation that causes them to
gravitate in the direction of objects with certain curvilinear properties." - Ashley
Montagu
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"You're young, you're drunk, you're in bed, you have knives - shit happens." -
Angelina Jolie
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"He who would do some great thing in this short life must apply himself to work with
such a concentration of his forces as, to idle spectators who live only to amuse
themselves, looks like insanity." -- Francis Parkman (1823-93)
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"Happiness is a butterfly, which when pursued is always just beyond your grasp. But
which, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you." - Nathaniel Hawthorne
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"The truth about a man lies first and foremost in what he hides." - Andre
Malraux
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"My theology, briefly, is that the universe was dictated but not signed." -
Christopher Morley
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And they say "Well you know smoking takes 10 years off your life." These are the
worst 10 years, isn't it folks, it's the ones at the end. It's the wheelchair, adult
diaper, kidney dialysis fucking years. You can have those years, we don't want them all
right? And I guarentee you that if I'm still alive then, I'll be smoking. I'll be in my
wheelchair, with my adult diapers on and my 25 year old non-smoking, born again Christian
son behind me and I'll be going 'Hey, make sure you wipe this time, I was itching all week
for Christ's sake.' " - Denis Leary
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"It's not pinin,' it's passed on! This parrot is no more! It has ceased to be! It's
expired and gone to meet its maker! This is a late parrot! It's a stiff! Bereft of life,
it rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed him to the perch he would be pushing up the
daisies! Its metabolical processes are of interest only to historians! It's hopped the
twig! It's shuffled off this mortal coil! It's rung down the curtain and joined the choir
invisible! This.... is an EX-PARROT!" - Monty Python, The Parrot Sketch.
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In other words, don't believe everything you see and read on the mighty Intertron. It'll
duck you up.
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