| Bio: |
"By the way demon cows say mooo"
man i need to remove myself from my head drugs may not be the answer but they sometimes
help you find it
Pain's cold feeling in my chest, hateful words have done their best. As all the pain is
screaming free, for love's sweet taste is not to be. All the doubts begin to rant, causing
havoc with their chant. In my head she hears their scream, covering my ears to stop the
stream. Set me free oh hateful pain, it beats me down with sad refrain. i fights to rise
above the feelings, to escape fate's unfair dealings. my release is not in sight, as i
faced my lonely plight. A tear is flowing down my face, can i arise from this dark place?
This wound has gone in so deeply, my relief can not come cheaply
=====================================
Once, you looked at me, ad my heart stopped. It was only for an instant, but I can still
feel it. As if it had stopped forever, and will never beat again. Then you smiled, and I
felt the weight of a million years, just in that smile. Time held no meaning for me, all
that mattered was that moment. Here, standing in front of you, looking into your eyes.
Seeing a hope within them, Eternity caught in two spheres of blue. You reached out your
hand to me, and I took it. We didn't speak, No words were needed. We danced like it was
our last moments on earth, and I smiled up at you. It was a moment of magic, a fantastic
thing. I wished it to never end. Yes, Once... Once, you loved me.
====================================================
Do more than read, absorb. Do more than see, observe. Do more than listen, hear. Do more
than touch, feel. Do more than exist, live. Do more than talk, SAY SOMETHING.
=====================================
LIFE Life isn't about keeping score. It's not about how many friends you have or how
accepted you are. Not about if you have phans this weekend or if you're alone. It isn't
about who you're dating, who you used to date, how many people you've dated, or if you
haven't been with anyone at all. It isn't about who you have kissed. It's not about sex.
it isn't about who your family is or how much money they have. Or what kind of car you
drive. Or where you are sent to school. it's not about how beautiful or ugly you are. or
what clothes you wear, what shoes you have on, or what kind of music you listen to. It's
not about if your hair is blonde, red, black or brown. Or if your skin is too light or too
dark. not about what grades you get, how smart you are, how smart everybody else thinks
you are, or how smart standardixed tests say you are. It's not about what clubs you're in
or how good you are at "your" sport. It's not about representing your whole
being on a piece of paper and seeing who will "accept the written you". LIFE
JUST ISN'T But, life is about who you love and who you hurt. it's about who you make happy
or unhappy purposefully. it's about keeping or betraying trust. it's about friendship,
used as a sanctity or a weapon. It's about what you say and mean, maybe hurtful, maybe
heartening. About starting rumors and contributing to petty gossip. It's about what
judgements you pass and why. And who your judgements are spread to. It's about who you've
ignored with full control and intention. It's about jealousy, fear, ignorance, and
revenge. It's about carrying inner hate and love, letting it grow, and spreading it. But
most of all, it's about using your life to touch or poison other people's hearts in such a
way that could have never occurred alone. Only you choose the way those hearts are
affected, and those choices are what life's all about.
=====================================
ignore my ranting...
whatever happened to my belief in religion my belief that there was a god and that he was
a good god and a just god... when did i start thinking that god was a lie just like santa
claus and the easter bunny and all those other stories we're told when we are young when
did i lose faith when did i say to myself "i am alone" and know that damn i _am_
alone... when did those thoughts of "as long as i lead a good life, god will ensure
my place in heaven" change to "no a gun is too messy a knife might work but some
helpful bastard will probably find me and 'save me' gas is no good either so i'll guess
i'll have to jump off a cliff but there are no cliffs here in miami" and when did
those thoughts of "everybody has their fifteen minutes of fame" change to
"i'm just an inconsequential speck on this world who the hell is going to miss me
nobody i have nobody i have nothing i am nothing" ... when did i realize that i was
slowly losing my mind and i really needed somebody to help me to throw me that rope to
pull me out of the quicksand which is slowly drowning me in despair and when did i realize
that there was nobody on the horizon no lifeguard on the shores of sanity watching me
drown in the turbulent waters of chaos... i do not know when i realized these things but
know i think i've found my lifeguard my ego my other half my special person and she tells
me shut up because i'm not that bad and not that f**ked up and that she'll always be my
friend (which is all i really need right now) but i've heard that crap before and maybe
that mindset will push her away but i don't know...
=====================================
"Lack of Faith"
Ignorance is bliss And so is callousness And I detest the God who failed To grant me both
these gifts.
Will He save us all, Or will the curtain fall? Sometimes I wonder if There really is a
God at all
. If He is all-knowing, Why is He so blind? If He is so loving, why is He so unkind?
Heaven seems unreal, The world is sick and sour So damn me if You will for questioning
Your power.
i will not blindly follow when You know not where You're going. I will not be a sheep To
a wolf in shepherd's clothing.
So You can try to lead me But I will go astray. Because until You prove Yourself to me I
never will obey. |
- 
