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Have you ever read "Catcher In The Rye" by J.D. Salinger?

(If you haven’t... Then you never made it past Ninth Grade english and you shouldn’t be
allowed access to the internet anyways)

It has everyone’s favorite moody prepschool malcontent: Holden Caulfield.

I hate Holden Caulfield.

I’m pretty much the bizzaro version of that whiny prick.

He’s spoiled and ungrateful to the bone.
This kid complains and overanalyzes everything.
Not one person is as interesting or important as him.

And then... When he gets a hooker and you think that this is going to redeem this
effeminate gasbag: Nothing. This blazer-wearing loser just chickens out and talks down to
more people.

Well... To be honest I am a sarcastic jerk and I’d wear blazers if they didn’t make me
look even tubbier.