|
Personal |
| Login: |
CapnFantasmo |
| Role: |
Community Supporter |
   |
| Mood: |
Annoyed  - Mood history |
| Real Name: |
Blast |
| Gender: |
Male |
| Status: |
Attached & not looking |
| Location: |
Kansas City, Missouri, U.S.A. |
| Birthdate: |
Sep 27, 1983, I'm 24 and a Libra |
| My +Buddies: |
*(Jizzle)*, *~mayB, .Dirty.Mexican., .MommyBorn., anti~snap, Atrina, C00kieM0nster, c0urtney, DistortedGamer, double*bass, EPIPHANY, Evanesence, fall3n, Fuck*Off, h0LLyw00d, inebreatedcow, JadeOrchid, Kilo.Style, lowfive, MSG, musicisdadrug, phocas, RachelVanDoll, Scoot!, SuperManda333, Tha-Ho, TigOl, TransPlant, voodoogirl, ¤MissKitty¤ |
| +Buddy Of: |
(((Caroline))), (styleebunny), *(Jizzle)*, *~mayB, .Dirty.Mexican., aLLiBeaR, anti~snap, C00kieM0nster, c0urtney, Confuz*E, DaB21akaLiLT, double*bass, dread, FaeAngelique, Followmylead, h0LLyw00d, inebreatedcow, jenn-n-tonic, Kilo.Style, lowfive, MSG, musicisdadrug, PinkTrash, s3l3cta, scary_3, southern_dixi, Succubus05, SuperManda333, Tha-Ho, TheBlackNinja, TigOl, voodoogirl, winky2, ¤MissKitty¤ |
| Bio: |
<feel me>
HBW
<own me>
Owned by My Mistress Lilyspawn aka Christy aka the most beautiful thing in the
universe.
<reach me>
AIM - ins3r7c0in
MSN - powdered_jedi@hotmail.com
YAHOO - blastizzle
<be me>
Full Name: Jonathan Mikel Garcia
Sex: Male
Sexual Orientation: yes
Height: 5’9"
Weight: 135 pounds
Hair Color: bald or brown
Eye Color: blue sometime’s gray...green when im horny.
Umm...hi...I’m Bla$t. I’m an alcoh...i mean dinosaur...my special title is:
*FANFARE*
Imperial Tomorrowsaurus Rex of the burger
*FANFARE*
<humor me>
Laura Schlessinger is a US radio personality who dispenses advice to
people who call in to her radio show. Recently, she said that as an
observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to
Leviticus 18:22 and cannot be condoned in any circumstance. The
following is an open letter to Dr. Laura penned by a US resident,
which was posted on the Internet:
Dear Dr. Laura:
Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God’s Law. I
have learned a great deal from your show, and I try to share that
knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend
the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus
18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate. I do need
some advice from you, however, regarding some of the other specific laws and how to follow
them.
a) When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a
pleasing odor for the Lord (Lev. 1:9). The problem is my neighbors.
They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?
b) I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in
Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair
price for her?
c) I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in
her period of menstrual uncleanliness (Lev. 15:19-24). The problem is, how
do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.
d) Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and
female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend
of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can
you clarify? Why can’t I own Canadians?
e) I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 5:2
clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to
kill him myself?
f) A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an
abomination (Lev. 11:10), it is a lesser abomination than
homosexuality. I don’t agree. Can you settle this?
g) Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I
have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses.
Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?
h) Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair
around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by
Lev.19:27. How should they die?
i) I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes
me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?
j) My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two
different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of
two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends
to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all
the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them?
(Lev.24:10-16) Couldn’t we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we
do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14).
I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident
you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God’s word is eternal
and unchanging.
Your devoted disciple and adoring fan, Jake
<inspire me>
Imagine if you will... we are not alone in the universe...
Exactly what could they think of us once they meet us...
One alien officer talking to his superior...
"They’re made out of meat."
"Meat?"
"Meat. They’re made out of meat."
"Meat?"
"There’s no doubt about it. We picked several from different parts of the planet,
took them aboard our recon vessels, probed them all the way through. They’re completely
meat."
"That’s impossible. What about the radio signals? The messages to the stars."
"They use the radio waves to talk, but the signals don’t come from them. The signals
come from machines."
"So who made the machines? That’s who we want to contact."
"They made the machines. That’s what I’m trying to tell you. Meat made the
machines."
"That’s ridiculous. How can meat make a machine? You’re asking me to believe in
sentient meat."
"I’m not asking you, I’m telling you. These creatures are the only sentient race in
the sector and they’re made out of meat."
"Maybe they’re like the Orfolei. You know, a carbon-based intelligence that goes
through a meat stage."
"Nope. They’re born meat and they die meat. We studied them for several of their life
spans, which didn’t take too long. Do you have any idea the life span of meat?"
"Spare me. Okay, maybe they’re only part meat. You know, like the Weddilei. A meat
head with an electron plasma brain inside."
"Nope. We thought of that, since they do have meat heads like the Weddilei. But I
told you, we probed them. They’re meat all the way through."
"No brain?"
"Oh, there is a brain all right. It’s just that the brain is made out of meat!"
"So... what does the thinking?"
"You’re not understanding, are you? The brain does the thinking. The meat."
"Thinking meat! You’re asking me to believe in thinking meat!"
"Yes, thinking meat! Conscious meat! Loving meat. Dreaming meat. The meat is the
whole deal! Are you getting the picture?"
"Omigod. You’re serious then. They’re made out of meat."
"Finally, Yes. They are indeed made out meat. And they’ve been trying to get in touch
with us for almost a hundred of their years."
"So what does the meat have in mind?"
"First it wants to talk to us. Then I imagine it wants to explore the universe,
contact other sentients, swap ideas and information. The usual."
"We’re supposed to talk to meat?"
"That’s the idea. That’s the message they’re sending out by radio. ’Hello. Anyone out
there? Anyone home?’ That sort of thing."
"They actually do talk, then. They use words, ideas, concepts?"
"Oh, yes. Except they do it with meat."
"I thought you just told me they used radio."
"They do, but what do you think is on the radio? Meat sounds. You know how when you
slap or flap meat it makes a noise? They talk by flapping their meat at each other. They
can even sing by squirting air through their meat."
"Omigod. Singing meat. This is altogether too much. So what do you advise?"
"Officially or unofficially?"
"Both."
"Officially, we are required to contact, welcome, and log in any and all sentient
races or multibeings in the quadrant, without prejudice, fear, or favor. Unofficially, I
advise that we erase the records and forget the whole thing."
"I was hoping you would say that."
"It seems harsh, but there is a limit. Do we really want to make contact with
meat?"
"I agree one hundred percent. What’s there to say?" ’Hello, meat. How’s it
going?’ But will this work? How many planets are we dealing with here?"
"Just one. They can travel to other planets in special meat containers, but they
can’t live on them. And being meat, they only travel through C space. Which limits them to
the speed of light and makes the possibility of their ever making contact pretty slim.
Infinitesimal, in fact."
"So we just pretend there’s no one home in the universe."
"That’s it."
"Cruel. But you said it yourself, who wants to meet meat? And the ones who have been
aboard our vessels, the ones you have probed? You’re sure they won’t remember?"
"They’ll be considered crackpots if they do. We went into their heads and smoothed
out their meat so that we’re just a dream to them."
"A dream to meat! How strangely appropriate, that we should be meat’s dream."
"And we can mark this sector unoccupied."
"Good. Agreed, officially and unofficially. Case closed. Any others? Anyone
interesting on that side of the galaxy?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~++++~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Yes, a rather shy but sweet hydrogen core cluster intelligence in a class nine star
in G445 zone. Was in contact two galactic rotations ago, wants to be friendly again."
"They always come around."
"And why not? Imagine how unbearably, how unutterably cold the universe would be if
one were all alone."
You know what? I love people. I always put the rest of the world ahead of myself if it can
bring good. but for some reason everyone tries to make me out to be the bad guy. Like I
have some alterior motive for being a nice guy.
I'm perfectly okay with people not liking me. Doesn't bother me. I'd just like those
people to know that if they ever need help I'm here for them. Whatever it is I'll do
everything in my power to help. Some of you know this already.
and the bad
Sometimes I tire of you humans with your need to be on top and your paranoia that they're
all trying to take it away from you. You're minds are weak and controlled by electronic
signals and glorified hairspray. I don't know everything there is to know. but I know
enough to get me through life. I've tried teaching and showing others the way to be happy
but it seems they don't want it. Sometimes I feel like my point on this earth is to
balance it out. Take the knowledge I have and share it with you in the hopes that this
tiny blue rock will become a peaceful and happy place. But sometimes you guys make my job
hard. hell sometimes you make me want to quit. I've almost given up on humanity many times
and everytime something happens that restores my faith. I know you can do it. I know it's
there. The possiblity exists that the world may love each other.
after reading this how many of you think "damn. that's a good idea. I'm gonna go make
a new friend today."
and how many think "Jon, you're so arrogant. shut the fuck up."
I don't care if you think I'm arrogant or cocky. but I'm happy. and I'd like the rest of
you to be happy too. what better way than to tell you what I know.
|
Contact |
| Message: |
send me a private message |
| Email: |
private |
| ICQ: |
n/a |
| Homepage: |
http://lmt.servegame.com ( opens in new window ) |
My Gallery• 4chan (438, 438 new   )
Don’t come in here. it’s dangerous. • 4chan/gif/ (142, 142 new )
moving pictures • Addictive? (21, 21 new )
WoW stuff. • Business Card Art (107, 107 new )
If there’s duplicates lemme know. • Church of Scientology (222, 222 new )
these are images of one of the many secret scientology documents and counter propaganda. • Comics (12, 12 new )
Funny Stuff you may or may not understand. • Cute Things (53, 53 new )
These put a smile on my face • Digital Christmas (65, 65 new )
made this
for you • Do Your Worst... (2, 2 new ) • Emma (46, 46 new )
Bitch is Hot yo • Expression (24, 24 new )
stuff I made • Fluffy (220, 220 new )
Hot stuff • Fsck Deviant (8, 8 new )
the artisit is ~love1008 • Grow And Learn (6, 6 new )
Fuckin with maya again. I know I suck. leave stupid comments and get b7 • Heroes (36, 36 new )
Bringing you the wallpapers. • Heroic Art (20, 20 new )
The pix I’m
proud of • Homage (8, 8 new )
you made
this for me • I’m Going to Hell (73, 73 new )
Stuff you probably shouldn’t find funny • InselKampf.com (17, 17 new )
My Island • Kitty: One (726, 726 new ) • Kitty: Two (809, 809 new )
these are the funny ones. with words normally. careful. might freeze your computer. • Leprechaun Sex (30, 30 new )
Fuck Yeah! She’s Hot and mine. • Macaroni and Glitter (16, 16 new )
blended with
perfection • Mind Fuck (15, 15 new )
When You See It... • My Dream House (7, 7 new )
The lock is only temp. you’ll get to see it eventually. • My Only True Love (19, 19 new )
I Love You • New Awesome Stuff (70, 70 new )
JJAM • Portfolio (20, 20 new )
Just a place to keep stuff for my portfolio. • Rankin (144, 144 new )
photography and other stuff • Rape (fucked up shit) (409, 409 new )
So that’s why you don’t have access. cuz I know you’ll prolly just bitch about. rather most of the people on my buddy list are the ones that can see it. cuz they understand that it’s fucked up and won’t judge me or run to the admin or tell me I need jesus. • Sup... (0, 0 new )
you’re boring me. • Super Strength (7, 7 new )
Ink’d
Needle’d • The 1337 Brigade (96, 96 new )
talk nerdy to me • The Black Sea (21, 21 new )
unlike your mom, it’s where no man has gone before. • The Captain (34, 34 new )
Captain Fantasmo saves the day • Unmethodical (253, 253 new )
this is where i put the shit that doesn’t belong anywhere else(no offense to anyone) • Zombies (1, 1 new )
Not what you think My Reviews• Movie: Juno (2008-01-30)
• Movie: Shoot Em Up (2008-01-06)
• Movie: Superbad (2007-12-30)
• Book: Anarchist Cookbook (2007-09-21)
• Book: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (2007-07-27)
• Movie: Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (2007-07-13)
• Event: Hot Like Fiya (2007-06-11)
• Movie: Stranger than Fiction (2007-04-29)
• Food: Deep-Fried Dill Pickles (2006-12-31)
• Music: All The Right Reasons (2006-12-09)
• View Reviews My Poems• To Walk Forever (2 | 2005-06-13)
• Battle For Love (4 | 2005-05-07)
• Why? (3 | 2005-02-03)
• A collection of quotes...famous and not so famous (3 | 2003-06-29)
• Bombshell - Operation Ivy (2 | 2003-04-02)
• We Should All Quit Drinking Beer (11 | 2003-03-16)
• Where Did You Come From (5 | 2003-03-13)
• An excerpt from Naked Lunch by: William S. Burroughs (4 | 2003-01-08)
• Thoughts at the moment in Italiano (1 | 2002-11-23)
• Thoughts at the moment en Espanol (5 | 2002-11-23)
• Thoughts at the Moment (2 | 2002-11-14)
My JournalBUKKAKE FOR JUSTICE!!! (4221 )
Music History My Attended EventsLogin to view. |
