[red]A 18-year old jammer who is looking for someone to be in love with. Plus I’m
also try to make some raps, songs, and poerty, which you can see. To all my enemies, you
can’t see me, punks! "Iron Reaver Soul Stealer"-line from Inuyasha. I love
you Jade Orchid! I’m also a fan of Jet Set Radio! "Be A Master Of The
Street"! To all the girls, I’m double the fun! Here are some lines from True
Crime:
1."Kicking ass and taking names!"
2."The ladies call me quick Nick for a reason...no, not that reason!"
3."Let’s go! I’ve got shit to do!"
4."Oh, shit! It’s dim sum time!"
5."Suck on these, bitch!"
6."Jeez, can’t you even die? Maybe I’ll might fry your ass!"
7."Guns are overrated, well...sometimes."
8."No guns! They are a waste of bullets!"
9."I’m gonna make you scream like a cat in heat!"
10."Mess with the EOD, you end up DOA. Man, that was corny!"
11."Crime don’t pay, but sometimes it hurts like hell!"
12."Hey, how you like to be Bubba’s little bitch?"
13."Ninjas got nothing on me!"
14."I’m not gonna reason with you, I’m just gonna shoot you!"
15."Damn I’ve love guns!"
16."Oh, man. This whole mess is gonna be one shit load of paper work!"
17."I’m gonna make you me bitch!"
18."Hey, someone call animal control!"
19."Get up, Nick. Get up!"
20."I am a EOD agent. Open up!"
21."Give me your car, your keys, and get your ass out!"
22."No worries, I’m giving it a test run....yeah, right!"
23."This is where all the cool kids hang out!"
24."Can’t...go...to...the...dark...side!"
25."Easy now, kitty!"
26."I'm gonna make you my bitch, bitch!"
Lines from Snoop Dogg on True Crime:
1."This is the Dogg, chasing on dumb-ass mother fucker!"
2."Get your ass out of this car!"
3."Considered yourself jacked, mother fucker!"
Hey, for the guys who want to pass a drug test, here’s a tip! Pack some musturd in
your car. Keep musturd, goddamit! And if anyone says that people in the South can’t
rhyme, fuck you!
Hello, thank you for call DTP. To help with your call, listen to the following:
If you are calling to sell us a double tape, press 1.
If you are calling for a job, press 2.
If you are calling to borrow money, press 3.
If you are calling to find the nearest weed spot in your area, press 4.
If you are out of beer on Sunday, press 5.
If you need a girl for the night, press 6.
If you wake up from a hangover and find a pair of hairy balls on your forehead, press 7.
You just pressed 7. You’ve been victimized in a moral crime called
"T-Bagging". We think you should hang up the phone, talk to all your male
friends you hang out with last night, and find and sercure all photos before they appear
on the internet.
Thank you for calling.
Good luck!
Good bye!
(clicks)
A funny line from Game Over:
"Hey, kids. Conker’s here, and when I’m not rapping about the greatest of
beer a.k.a. the shit, I’m here on the frontlines, fighting against magic cookies.
Pretend that this symbol right here is you brain:
. This will be your brain on magic
cookies: :p. And that’s why you should stay off the magic cookies!"
"Peace out, ya’ll! Yeah!"
I’m working in a flea market so early,
I’m been working here since my mama was a baby.
Just because the rhythm is slow,
that don’t mean that you can’t flow.
In the rain or in the snow(2X)
Got the got the funky flow.(2X)
In the rain or in the snow(2X)
Got the got the funky flow.(2X)
All you ever need is to be nice and friendly.(2X)
All you ever need is to be nice and friendly.(2X)
The goal to strike it rich, the key is love,
saving every body from way up above.
I can sell a bottle cap like this.(2X)
I can sell a bottle cap like this.(2X)
I’d never dream it would be like this,
for I’m the number one ruler of the seven seas.
The skunk over here would bring you luck.(2X)
The pump over here comes with a truck.(2X)
Oh, yes. I’d have alot alot of fun,
I’d made a few bucks, and now I’m on the run.
In the rain or in the snow(2X)
Got the got the funky flow.(2X)
In the rain or in the snow(2X)
Got the got the funky flow.(2X)
Ha,ha,ha. Let me tell you something that I’ve never told you before. Listen to
this!
I’ve have never sold anything, anything.(2X)
You’ve have never sold anything, anything.(2X)
Money, money, money, it’s all you need.(2X)
Money, money, money, it’s all you need.(2X)
[green]Shawn’s Stats:
Ht.: 5’ 3 1/2’’
Have black short hair, brown eyes wt.: 120 lbs.
Shoe size: 8
Music: Rap, Rock n’ Roll, Jazz
Blood Type: A+
Break yourself, fool!
Oh, shit! It’s Wanye Brady, son!
Oh, shit!
Riverside, Mutha Fucka!
[blue]Shawn’s other cool friends:
Tiny Toker-Justine
Tiger_Scorpio
Watergirl17-Monica
Tifny
Elyssa-Liz
.Konstantie.-Meagan
Princessrebel
I_pepsi
Vampyress
~MayB
Witch
dumb_blonde
MB_boy
dark_moongirl
AnalInfection
Someonefunny
Hey, I'm making another profile so I can add Lemons aka Hentai Fan-Fics stories. It's
Ryu64. Check it out!
WE GOT JOKES & JOKES & JOKES & JOKES...
A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar which reads:
Cheese Sandwich: $1.50
Hand Job: $10.00
He checks his wallet for the necessary payment, then he walks up to the bar and beckons
to
one of the exceptionally attractive blondes serving drinks to an eager-looking group of
men.
"Yes?" she inquires, with a knowing smile, "can I help you?"
"Yep, I was wondering," whispers the man, "are you the one who gives the
handjobs?"
"Yes," she purrs, "I am."
Replies the man, "Well, then, wash your hands because I want a cheese
sandwich!"
A man enters the hospital for a circumcision. When he comes to after the procedure,
he's perturbed to see several doctors standing around his bed.
“Son, there's been a bit of a mix-up,” admits the surgeon. “I'm afraid
there was an
accident, and we were forced to perform a sex-change operation. You now have a vagina
instead of a penis.”
“What!” gasps the patient. “You mean I'll never experience another
erection?”
“Oh, you might,” the surgeon reassures him. “Just not yours.”
Mr. Cikoch was a biology instructor at a snobby suburban girl's junior college.
During class one day he asked his student, "Miss Simison, would you please name the
organ of the human body, which under the appropriate conditions, expands to six times its
normal size, and define the conditions."
Miss Simison gasped, and then said, "Mr. Cikoch, I don't think that is a proper
question to ask me. I assure you my parents will hear of this. "With that she sat
down red-faced.
Mr. Cikoch then called on Miss Hakar and asked the same question. Miss Hakar, with
composure, replied, "The pupil of the eye, in dim light."
"Correct," said Mr. Cikoch. "And now, Miss Simison, I have three things to
say to you. One, you have not studied your lesson. Two, you have a dirty mind. And three,
you will some day be faced with a dreadful disappointment."
A trucker who has been out on the road for two weeks stops at a brothel outside
Melbourne. He walks straight up to the Madam, drops down $500 and says, "I want your
ugliest woman and a devon sandwich!!" The Madam is astonished. "But sir, for
that kind of money you could have one of my finest ladies and a three-course meal."
The trucker replies, "Listen Darlin, I ain't horny, I'm homesick."
I went into my proctologist's office for my first rectal exam. His new nurse, Elaine,
took me to an examining room and told me to get undressed and have a seat until the
doctor
could see me. She said that he would only be a few minutes.
After putting on the gown that she gave me I sat down. While waiting I observed that
there
were three items on a stand next to the exam table: a tube of K-Y jelly, a rubber glove,
and a beer.
When the doctor finally came in I said, "Look Doc, I'm a little confused. This is my
first exam. I know what the K-Y is for, and I know what the glove is for, but can you
tell
me what the BEER is for?" At that Doctor Paul became noticeably outraged and stormed
over to the door. He flung the door open and yelled to his nurse.......
"Darn it ELAINE!!!!!!!!!!! I said a BUTT LIGHT"
A mother, father and young son are visiting the circus. The elephants walk out into
the circus ring and the little boy says to his mother, "What's that?"
"That's the elephant's tail," she replies.
"No, under the tail," says the youngster.
The mother is clearly embarrassed and says, "Oh, nothing."
The boy turns to his father and repeats the same question.
His father looks and says, "That's the elephant's penis, son."
"So, why did mum say it was nothing?" asks the boy.
The father draws himself up to his full height and says, "Son, I've spoiled that
woman."
A woman was walking down the street when she was approached by a man. The man said,
"I must have you right now! I'll drop $500 on the ground at your feet and in the
time
it takes for you to pick it up I can have my way with you from behind!"
The woman thought it over and told the man to wait a minute. She called her girlfriend on
her cell phone and told her about the man's proposition. Her girlfriend said "When
he
drops the $500 on the ground I'm sure you can pick it up and run before he gets his pants
down. Call me back and tell me what happened."
An hour and a half later the lady called her girlfriend back. "What happened?"
the girlfriend asked.
The lady said "That jerk had $500 in quarters!"
There once was a man who owned a sausage factory, and he was showing his arrogant
preppy son around his factory.
Try as he might to impress his snobbish son, his son would just sneer.
They approached the heart of the factory, where the father thought, "This should
impress him!"
He showed his son a machine and said "Son, this is the heart of the factory. With
this machine here we can put in a pig, and out come sausages.
The prudish son, unimpressed, said "Yes, but do you have a machine where you can put
in a sausage and out comes a pig?"
The father, furious, thought and said, "Yes son, we call it your mother."
A guy walking down the street sees a woman with perfect breasts. He says to her,
"Hey miss, would you let me bite your breasts for $100 dollars?
"Are you nuts? !!" she replies, and keeps walking away. He turns around, runs
around the block and gets to the corner before she does.
"Would you let me bite your breasts for $1,000 dollars?" he asks again.
"Listen you; I'm not that kind of woman! Got it?" So the guy runs around the
next block and faces her again. "Would you let me bite your breasts
just once for $10,000 dollars?"
She thinks about it for a while and says, "Hmmm, $10,000 dollars, eh? Ok, just once,
but not here. Let's go to that dark alley over there."
So they go into the alley, where she takes off her blouse to reveal the most perfect
breasts in the world. As soon as he sees them, he grabs them and starts caressing them,
fondling them slowly, kissing them, licking them, burying his face in them, but not
biting
them.
The woman finally gets annoyed and asks, "Well? Are you gonna bite them or
not?"
"Nah", he replies. "Costs too much..............."
A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary. As the
couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband,
"When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your
mind?" The husband replied, "All I wanted to do was to screw your brains out,
and suck your boobs dry." Then, as the wife undressed, she asked, "What are you
thinking now?" He replied, "It looks as if I did a pretty good job."
A gay man named Roger goes into the doctor's office and has some tests run. The
doctor comes back and says "Roger, I am not going to beat around the bush. You have
AIDS." Roger is devastated. "Doc, what can I do?"
The doctor says "I want you to go home and eat 5 pounds of spicy sausage, a head of
cabbage, 20 un-peeled carrots drenched in hot sauce, 10 Jalapeno peppers, 40 walnuts and
40 peanuts, 1/2 box of All Bran cereal, and top it off with a gallon of prune
juice."
Roger asks, "Will that cure me, Doc?"
"No, but it should leave you with a better understanding of what your asshole is
for."
Bill worked in a pickle factory. He had been employed there for a number of years
when he came home one day to confess to his wife that he had a terrible compulsion. He
had
an urge to stick his penis into the pickle slicer. His wife suggested that he should see
a
sex therapist to talk about it, but Bill said he would be too embarrassed. He vowed to
overcome the compulsion on his own.
One day a few weeks later, Bill came home. His wife could see at once that something was
seriously wrong. "What's wrong, Bill?" she asked. "Do you remember that I
told you how I had this tremendous urge to put my penis into the pickle slicer?"
"Oh, Bill, you didn't." "Yes, I did." "My God, Bill, what
happened?" "I got fired." "No, Bill. I mean, what happened with the
pickle slicer?" "Oh... she got fired too."
A man was walking down the street when he was approached by a particularly dirty and
shabby-looking homeless man who asked him for a couple of dollars for dinner.
The man took out his wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked, "If I give you this
money, will you buy some beer with it instead?"
"No, I had to stop drinking years ago," the homeless man replied.
"Will you use it to gamble instead of buying food?" the man asked.
"No, I don't gamble," the homeless man said. "I need everything I can get
just to stay alive."
"Will you spend this on greens fees at a golf course instead of food?" the man
asked.
"Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless man. "I haven't played golf in 20
years!"
"Will you spend the money on a woman in the red light district instead of
food?"
the man asked.
"What disease would I get for ten lousy bucks?" exclaimed the homeless man.
"Well," said the man, "I'm not going to give you the money. Instead, I'm
going to take you home for a terrific dinner cooked by my wife."
The homeless man was astounded.
"Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I
probably
smell pretty disgusting."
The man replied, "That's okay. I just want her to see what a man looks like who's
given up beer, gambling, golf, and sex."
An old retired sailor puts on his old uniform and goes down to the docks once more
for old time's sake. He hires a prostitute and takes her up to a room. He's going at it
as
best as he can for a guy his age. The old sailor asks, "How am I doing?" The
prostitute replies, "Well, sailor, you're doing about three knots." "Three
knots?" he replies, "What's that supposed to mean?" She says, "You're
knot hard, you're knot in, and you're knot getting your money back."
After a few years of married life, this guy finds that he is unable to get it up
anymore. He goes to his doctor, his doctor tries a few things but nothing works.
Finally the doctor says to him "this is all in your mind", and refers him to a
psychiatrist.
After a few visits to the shrink, the shrink confesses "I am at a loss as to how you
could possibly be cured."
Finally the psychiatrist refers him to a witch doctor.
The witch doctor tells him, "I can cure this", and throws some powder on a
flame, and there is a flash with billowing blue smoke....
The witch doctor says "This is powerful healing but you can only use it once a year!
All you have to do is say '1 2 3' and it shall rise for as long as you wish!"
The guy then asks the witch doctor "What happens after when its over?".
The witch doctor says "all you have to say is '1 2 3 4' and it will go down".
"But be warned it will not work again for 3 months!"
This guy goes home and that night is ready to surprise his wife with the good news... So
he is lying in bed with her and says "1 2 3", and suddenly he gets a hard-on.
His wife turns over and says "What did you say '1 2 3' for?"
A guy is hiking up a mountain when he sees a girl standing at the edge of a cliff,
crying. "Hey," he says, "if you're going to jump, how about giving me a
blow job before you do it?" "My life's been nothing but crap," says the
girl. "So I might as well." After the girl's done, the guy says, "Wow,
that
was great! Why are you so depressed, anyway?" The girl replies, "My family
disowned me for dressing like a woman."
A man goes into a repair shop to get his watch fixed. But when he sees that the girl
running the store is extremely hot, he unzips his pants and lays his johnson on the
counter.
Sir, what are you doing? This is a clock shop! the shocked girl shouts.
I know, he replies. I'd like to get a pair of hands and a face put on this.
She goes into Wal-Mart and tells the clerk she wants a refund for the toaster she
bought because it doesn't work.
The clerk tells her that he can't give her a refund because she bought it on special.
All of a sudden, the woman throws her arms up in the air and starts screaming!
"GRAB MY BREASTS! GRAB MY BREASTS!
The clerk, not knowing what to do, runs to get the store manager. The manager comes up to
the Woman and asks, "What's wrong?" !
She explains the situation with the toaster.
He tells her that he can't give her a refund because she bought it on special.
Once again, the woman throws her arms up in the air and starts screaming,
"GRAB MY BREASTS! GRAB MY BREASTS!"
In shock, the store manager pleads, "Ma'am, why are saying you that?"
In a huff, the woman says,
"BECAUSE, I LIKE TO HAVE MY BREASTS GRABBED WHEN I'M GETTING SCREWED!
A guy is in the market for a used motorcycle. He always wanted a big Harley. He shops
around, answering ads in the newspaper, and is not having much luck. One day he comes
across a beautiful classic Harley with a for sale" sign on it. Upon inspection, he
is
amazed to find the bike in mint condition. He inquires about it with the owner."This
bike is beautiful! I'll take it. But you gotta tell me how you keep it in such good
shape.
"Well," says the seller, "it's pretty simple. Just make sure that if the
bike is outside and it's going to rain, rub Vaseline on the chrome. It protects it from
the rain. In fact, since you're buying the bike I won't need my tube of Vaseline anymore.
Here, you can have it." and he hands the buyer a tube of Vaseline.
The guy buys the bike and off he goes, a happy biker. He takes the bike over to show his
girlfriend. She's ecstatic (being a Harley fan).
That night, he decides to ride the bike over to his girlfriend's parents' house. It's the
first time he's going to meet them and figures it will make a big impression. When the
couple gets to the house, the girlfriend grabs her boyfriend's arm.
"Honey," she says, "I gotta tell you something about my parents before we
go in. When we eat dinner, we don't talk. In fact, the person who says anything during
dinner has to do the dishes."
"No problem," he says. And in they go.
The boyfriend is astounded. Right smack in the middle of the living room is a huge stack
of dirty dishes. In the family room, another huge stack of dishes. Piled up the stairs,
dirty dishes. In fact, everywhere he looks, dirty dishes. They sit down to dinner and,
sure enough, no one says a word.
As dinner progresses, the boyfriend decides to take advantage of the situation. So he
leans over and kisses his girlfriend. No one says a word. So he decides to reach over and
fondle her breasts. He looks at her parents, but still they keep quiet.
So he stands up, grabs his girlfriend, strips her naked, and they make love right on the
dinner table. Still, no one says a word.
"Her Mom's kinda cute", he thinks. So he grabs his girlfriend's Mom and has his
way with her right there on the dinner table. Again, total silence.
Then, a few raindrops hit the window and the boyfriend realizes it's starting to rain. He
figures he'd better take care of the motorcycle, so he pulls the Vaseline from his
pocket.
Suddenly the father stands up and shouts: "All right, all right! I'll do the damn
dishes."
A car breaks down along the highway one day, so the driver eases it over onto the
shoulder. He jumps out of the car, opens the trunk, and pulls out two men in long black
trench coats. The men stand behind the car, open up their coats and start exposing
themselves to all the oncoming traffic. This results in one of the worst pile-ups in
history. When the police questioned him why he put two deviates along the side of the
road, the man replied, "I broke down and was just using my emergency flashers!"
Two male buddies were walking through the woods when out of no where, a poisonous
snake came and bit one of the men in the penis! The man collapsed to the ground while his
friend ran to town to get help. The man arrived at a doctor's office and said:
"Help,
help, my friend was bit by a snake in the penis." The doctor remarked that he
couldn't get all his tools to the woods in time to save the friend, so he told him that
he
would have to suck the venom out of his friend! "There has got to be another
way!" said the man and the doctor sighed, "No, I am sorry!" The man ran
back to the woods and found his poor friend lying on the floor in a lot of pain! The man
on the floor cried, "What did the doctor say?" The friend said, "he said
you're going to die."
One day while doing door-to-door market research, this guy knocks on a door and is
greeted
by a beautiful young housewife.
“Hello,” he starts, “I’m doing some research for a petroleum jelly
manufacturer. Have you
ever used the product?”
“Yes. My husband and I use it during sex,” she answers.
The researcher is taken aback. “Um, er, I admire you for your honesty,” he
continues. “Can
you tell me exactly how you use it?”
“Sure, we put it on the doorknob so the kids can’t get in.”
One evening Mike went over to his friend Terry's house to play cards with some
friends.
Mike sat directly across from Terry's wife. Mike dropped a card on the floor and bent
down
to pick it up. When he looked across the table he saw that Terry's wife had her legs open
and no panties on. He sat up and was flushed.
He went into the kitchen to get a drink of water. To his surprise Terry's wife had
followed him into the kitchen and said, " Did you like what you saw?" Mike said
"Yes I did." She said, Well you can get more than that but it will cost you
$500." So Mike thought about this financial situation and said, "O.K." She
said, "Come here tomorrow at 2:30 because Terry will be at work then." Mike
said, "I'll see you then."
The next day, Mike came over, they had sex, he paid her, then he left. Later, Terry came
home and asked, "Has Mike been over here today" She said, thinking she had been
caught, "As a matter of fact, he did." Terry said, "Good because that fool
came by my job this morning and asked to borrow $500 till this evening, and he said he
would leave it with you."
A man went to his doctor and asked him how to prolong the lovemaking experience. The
doctor told him that masturbating before sex often helped men last longer, extending the
pleasure for them and their partner.
The man decided, "What the hell, I'll try it."
He spent the rest of the day thinking about where to do it. He couldn't do it in his
office. He thought about the restroom, but that was too open. He considered an alley, but
figured that was too unsafe. Finally, he came up with a plan.
On his way home, he pulled his truck over on the side of the highway. He got out and
crawled underneath as if he was examining the truck.
Satisfied with the privacy, he undid his pants and started to masturbate. He closed his
eyes and thought of his lover.
As he grew closer to orgasm, he felt a quick tug at the bottom of his pants. Not wanting
to lose his mental fantasy or the orgasm, he kept his eyes shut and replied,
"What?"
He heard, "This is the police. What's going on down there?"
The man replied, "I'm checking out the rear axle, it's busted."
Came the reply, "Well, you might as well check your brakes too while you're down
there, because your truck rolled down the hill five minutes ago."
A cop is patrolling Lover's Lane when he sees the strangest thing. A young teenage
couple is sitting in a car, the guy in the front and the girl in the back. The guy is
reading a magazine and the girl appears to be knitting.
He stops the patrol car and walks over to knock on the young man's window. He rolls the
window down.
"Yes officer?"
"I have to ask you, what are you doing?"
"Well sir, I am reading a magazine."
"What about the young lady in the backseat?"
The young man turns to look behind him. "Well, I think she is knitting a pullover
sweater."
"How old are you young man?" the officer asks.
"I am 25 Officer."
"And the girl?"
The young man looks at his watch. "Well, she'll be 18 in 11 minutes."
A guy & a girl meet at a bar. They get along so well that they decide to go to the
girl's place. A few drinks later, the guy takes off his shirt and then washes his hands.
He then takes of his trousers and washes his hands again. The girl has been watching him
and says, "You must be a dentist." The guy, surprised, says "Yes....how
did
you figure that out?" "Easy," she replied, "you keep washing your
hands." One thing led to another and they make love. After they have done, the girl
says, "You must be a good dentist." The guy, now with a boosted ego says,
"Sure, I'm a good dentist, how did you figure that out?" "Didn't feel a
thing!"
True story, I was happy. My girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so
we decided to get married. My parents helped us in every way, my friends encouraged me,
and my girlfriend? She was a dream! There was only one thing bothering me, very much
indeed, and that one thing was her younger sister. My prospective sister-in-law was
twenty
years of age, wore tight mini skirts and low cut blouses. She would regularly bend down
when near me and I got many a pleasant view of her underwear. It had to be deliberate.
She
never did it when she was near anyone else. One day little sister called and asked me to
come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived. She whispered
to
me that soon I was to be married, and she had feelings and desires for me that she
couldn't overcome and didn't really want to overcome. She told me that she wanted to make
love to me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister. I was in
total shock and couldn't say a word. She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom,
and
if you want to go ahead with it just come up and get me." I was stunned. I was
frozen
in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. When she reached the top she pulled down her
panties and threw them down the stairs at me. I stood there for a moment, then turned and
went straight to the front door. I opened the door and stepped out of the house. I walked
straight towards my car. My future father-in-law was standing outside. With tears in his
eyes he hugged me and said, "We are very happy that you have passed our little test.
We couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family.
"The moral of this story is:"
"Always keep your condoms in your car."
Artist: Gorillaz
Song: Clint Eastwood
Album: Gorillaz
I ain't happy, I'm feeling glad
I got sunshine, in a bag
I'm useless,but not for long
The future is coming on
I ain't happy, I'm feeling glad
I got sunshine, in a bag
I'm useless, but not for long
The future is coming on
It's coming on
It's coming on
It's coming on
Yeah... Ha Ha!
Finally someone let me out of my cage
Now, time for me is nothing cos I'm counting no age
Now I couldn't be there
Now you shouldn't be scared
I'm good at repairs
And I'm under each snare
Intangible
Bet you didn't think so I command you to
Panoramic view
Look I'll make it all manageable
Pick and choose
Sit and lose
All you different crews
Chicks and dudes
Who you think is really kickin' tunes?
Picture you gettin' down in a picture tube
Like you lit the fuse
You think it's fictional
Mystical? Maybe
Spiritual
Hearable
What appears in you is a clearer view cos you're too crazy
Lifeless
To know the definition for what life is
Priceless
For you because I put you on the hype shit
You like it?
Gunsmokin' righteous with one token
Psychic among those
Possess you with one go
I ain't happy, I'm feeling glad
I got sunshine, in a bag
I'm useless,but not for long
The future is coming on
I ain't happy, I'm feeling glad
I got sunshine, in a bag
I'm useless, but not for long
The future is coming on
It's coming on
It's coming on
It's coming on
The essence the basics
Without it you make it
Allow me to make this
Child, like in nature
Rhythm
You have it or you don't that's a fallacy
I'm in them
Every sprouting tree
Every child apiece
Every cloud you see
You see with your eyes
I see destruction and demise
Corruption in disguise
>From this fuckin' enterprise
Now I'm sucking to your lies
Through Russ, though not his muscles but the percussion he provides
with me as a guide
But y'all can see me now cos you don't see with your eye
You perceive with your mind
That's the inner
So I'm gonna stick around with Russ and be a mentor
With a few rhymes so mother fuckers
Remember where the thought is
I brought all this
So you can survive when law is lawless
Feelings, sensations that you thought were dead
No squealing, remember
(that it's all in your head)
I ain't happy, I'm feeling glad
I got sunshine, in a bag
I'm useless, but not for long
The future is coming on
I ain't happy, I'm feeling glad
I got sunshine, in a bag
I'm useless, but not for long
My future is coming on
It's coming on
It's coming on
It's coming on
It's coming on
My future is coming on
It's coming on
It's coming on
It's coming on
It's coming on
My future is coming on
It's coming on
It's coming on
It's coming on
It's coming on
My future is coming on
It's coming on
It's coming on
My future is coming on
It's coming on
It's coming on
My future is coming on
It's coming on
It's coming on
My future
Funny quotes from new shows.
[purple]Quote from the new show 12 oz. Mouse:
Man:"You're a mouse, or..."
Mouse:"Or what?"
Man:"Well, hell. I don't know. I thought you're a mouse because you look like a damn
mouse. You know radar spelled backwards is radar. You know that?"
Lines for the Boondocks:
Huey: Well, this is the apartment building where it all happened. Maybe someone saw
something.
Ed III: Oh, somebody saw somethin' alright.
Huey: Hey, slow down - we gotta be tactful.
Ed III: Tactful? What that mean?
Gin Rummi: He talkin' about diplomacy. (cocks handgun) I don't DO diplomacy.
Rummi:I ain't think that they'd actually shoot back at us.
Huey: Well of course They're shooting back at us! You're robbing their store!
Rummi: You can't assume that people are going to shoot back at you. It was an unknown
unknown.
Huey: Need I remind you that this has nothing to do with our original plan!
Rummi: Damn it Huey! Robbery etiquette says you can't criticize a robbery plan during the
actual robbery. You have to wait til the robbery's over.
Riley: Are you sure that bulletproof vest can stop this shotgun?
Ed (Wuncler's Grandson): Yeah, I'm like the Terminator in this vest, yo!
Riley: Are you sure about this?
Ed: Pull the trigger, man!
Riley: Okay. Say hello to my lil' friend!
(Riley pulls the trigger and Ed is shot out the window and lands in the crowd outside)
Ed: (bleep) y'all lookin' at?Tom: Riley, she was a little girl.
Riley: Oh, I saw that girl. She wasn't little. I'm little. Gary Coleman's little. Mini-Me
is little. And to the best of my nolage we all managed to avoid gettin' peed on so far.
Tom: But what about the victim!
Riley: Oh yes! The victim. At what point in responcibility become a point in this
equasion? I see piss comin' I run. She saw piss comin' she stayed. And why should I miss
out on the next R. Kelly album just fo' that?
(walks away)
Huey: Man, you just beat by and eight-year old.
Riley: And if R. Kelly goes to jail, I'll piss on your cat!
The Pimp's Prayer (As told by a Pimp named Slick Back)
A Pimp named Slick Back: Let us pray the Pimp's prayer: Lord, please pray for the soul of
this bitch and guide my pimp hand and make it strong Lord, so that she might learn a hoe's
place. Amen
Riley: Amen. Yeah.
Riley: It's like going to heaven and finding god smoking crack
A.T.H.F New Theme Song From DangerDoom
Hey yo, I know this dude right
Karl, he wore tight blue sweats but wasn’t glued too tight
All he had upstairs was a crude light
You think that’s weird he lived next door to a food fight
Howdy Danger, much obliged for the beat god
Even though you still eat lard, by the Meatwad
Mesquite charred, speakin’ of which or who
Voice all squeaky like they tuned him up a pitch or two
A chunk of burned up witches brew
Get your crew; see if they can’t get past the stench of the stew
It stank like a septic tank full of pig poo
He mostly only turned into a frank or an igloo
Switch your view to the brother with the fry dreads
Not to be confused with the incense selling Tie headz
His name rhymes with Mike-Cock
You could call him live wire eye socket – it’s Frylock
Able to shoot electricity through his eyeballs
And blast all through your single sided brick and drywall
More interesting than professional wrestling
When he’s on line you can find him on instant pestering
What’s up with your boy? He’s not a soft or hot drink
Whoever don’t like it, can suck his straw, it’s hot pink
On some junk like, Gucci on a classy ho
Might splash you in the face with nuclear pistachio
Make a fast break, or that a be the last mistake
That ass’ll make, is what you get for messin’ with Master Shake
Look out, don’t block the screen son, lunge across,
I’m trying to watch Adult Swim-Aqua Teen Hunger Force
Rock this cult hymn, sock ya’ mean younger boss
Psht-Adult Swim -Aqua Teen Hunger Force
He often wondered, should he get the logo tatted’ to his woody?
He could be “#1 in tha’ hood g’”
Easily’
Perfect Hair
Perfect hair, to the second power of forever
Ask him, do he need it? Hell’s yeah, now or never
On a mission with friends and fair weather
Sooner the better, off to Mt. Tuna, wear your leather prepared sweater
And watch out for Catman my brothers,
A balding boy, sound like Janeane Garofalo,
Fiend for a sloppy fro, who seen the evil Coiffio?
Not me yo, I’m leaving, gone, even if him, got them bomb weavin’ Kalkeon
No more, less stress, than your old boss, tears burn your eyes
Less than fresh S curl sauce, and Brenda, the best girl lost
Uncle, grandfather, bare chest was peal gloss
Earl toss, there goes a whole tray of hamburgers
Villain til’ they old and grey like olden day scam workers
Circa 1-9-71 on the mic machine it seems his work will never be done
He seeks the ninth level of power, but weak geek might freak it in another hour
Or so, they call the fool retarded hair guy, in school you could spot it
When he nodded, “here why?” I think his true name was Gerald
The toupee, the male pattern anime herald.
A good laugh, like the walk to the bank,
Not the plank, talk to the hand, and a hot frank dog.
Story sites:
fanfiction.net
adlutfanfiction.net
www.freewebs.com/adultfanfiction
www.starless-dreamer.net
Art sites:
http://www.x-cleo.prv.pl/
Shawn Fisher: At age 83, you will perish under strange circumstances involving a gallon of
lotion, two nine volt batteries, and a photograph of a bicycle.
- 
