illuminari/Reviews

Tuesday October 23, 2007 - 9:33 PM

Category:

Movie

Director:

Russel Mulcahy

Year:

2007

Genre:

Horror

Average:

39 reviews

It amazes me that anyone anywhere in the world over the age of 13 (and even that is a stretch) could find this movie even remotely good. The acting was terrible. The plot barely existed, and what did exist has been overdone. The special effects were lame. Then ending was atrocious. The dialogue was horrid. This movie was just pure and utter crap. Even the infinite hotness that is Mila couldn't save this movie (just like Ultra Violet).

With that being said, it was a bit entertaining with the fight scenes. Maybe worth a rent if a) you're someone that has to complete the trilogy or b) you've exhausted your options for rentals and are stuck between this and The Chronicles of Riddick.

Trust me when I say this: this movie is absolutely terrible.

Tuesday July 10, 2007 - 2:18 AM

Category:

Movie

Director:

Michael Bay

Year:

2007

Genre:

Action & Adventure

Average:

149 reviews

My words when I walked out of the theater:

"You know that feeling you have when you've just had really good sex? That's how I feel right now."

The movie was really that good. I hate Michael Bay with a passion, but he actually created something fantastic this time.

The bad parts? I'll have to agree that the love story was insanely retarded, and her "dark past" was unimaginably stupid, but it's not enough to drop the rating. Not only that, but the allspark actually creates like the ultimate transformer... not kills them. Of course, that could come up in the sequel.

I so can't wait for the sequel.

Sunday June 10, 2007 - 6:44 PM

Category:

Movie

Director:

Edgar Wright

Year:

2007

Genre:

Comedy

Average:

13 reviews

This movie was great. I loved Shaun of the Dead, and I loved this. The humor is so great, and the characters are so well-written.

I also like how they make a great action movie out of an action movie spoof.

Funny, funny movie with great action scenes.

Friday March 30, 2007 - 10:22 AM

Category:

Movie

Director:

Larry Charles

Year:

2006

Genre:

Comedy

Average:

234 reviews

Funniest damned movie I have ever seen!

We laughed so hard, we had to pause it sometimes to catch our breath. Anyone that says the humor is offensive is a douche bag. Of course it's offensive, idiot. That's the whole point of the character and the movie.

And just so you know, Sacha Baron Cohen (the guy who played Borat) is Jewish.

Sunday March 11, 2007 - 11:47 PM

Category:

Movie

Director:

Zack Snyder

Year:

2007

Genre:

Action & Adventure

Average:

200 reviews

Saw this in IMAX the night it was released.

I know the whole history behind it, and I've read the comic. Unfortunately the movie was based more around the comic than the history itself, which is a little dissapointing, since some of the history was more entertaining than what happened in the movie.

1> Leonitis didn't kill a wolf. He killed a slave. He had to strangle him to death without being caught.

2> It didn't rain the first night; it rained the second night, after the Persians had already lost thousands.

3> The Phalanx was SOOO not right. And they never broke Phalanx to battle 1-on-1 until the actual final battle.

4> This was the scene I was waiting for throughout the whole movie, and it wasn't in there! The actual last battle, Leonitis was one of the first guys to get struck with an arrow. He went down, and all the Persians instantly tried to take his body. All the other Spartans stopped what they were doing and ran to protect his dead body. FOUR TIMES they had to fight off the Persians, and they did! Then they dragged his body away from them. That's where they formed a circle around his dead body, and that's when the arrows killed the rest of them. They all died in a circle around his body. *sigh* That would have been so dramatic.

BUT! Aside from that, this movie kicked some serious ass. Loved the action. *LOVED* the acting. Whoever said the acting sucked is an idiot. That acting was fucking awesome. Loved the special effects, but they relied a liiiittle too heavily on them for my tastes. And, of course, loved the storyline.

Best movie. Ever. Even if it isn't 100% accurate.